The following is a transcript of the Scrubs: Interns webisode "The Late Night with Jimmy Show".
Scene[]
Sacred Heart: Nurse's Station
Katie: You know, my last semester of pre-med, I was a total L.U.G.
Sunny: L.U.G.?
Denise: Lesbian Until Graduation. You're touching me. You're touching me.
Katie: Oh, come on.
Howie: Awesome.
Scrubs:Interns theme
Sacred Heart: Nurse's Station
Sunny: Oh, hi! Welcome back. Today Dr. Turk is going to talk to us interns about... Uh-oh, here comes Jimmy. Slo-mo. That's Jimmy the Overly Touchy Orderly. They call him that because he's an orderly, and he's overly touchy. Some people go with it and some people don't.
Jimmy sitting on couch with Howie giving him a massage
Jimmy: See? Doesn't that relieve a lot of the stress and tension you have?
Howie: No, not really.
Sunny (voice-over): Don't.
Jimmy sitting on couch with Denise giving her a massage
Sunny (voice-over): Do.
Jimmy sitting on couch with Howie giving him a massage
Sunny (voice-over): Don't.
Jimmy: Just let your body react naturally.
Jimmy sitting on couch with Denise giving her a massage
Sunny (voice-over): Do.
Denise: Come on, knee me!
Jimmy: This involves all four limbs.
Denise: Knee it!
Jimmy sitting on couch with Howie giving him a massage
Sunny (voice-over): Don't.
Howie: Please stop! Please stop! Please stop!
Jimmy sitting on couch with Denise giving her a massage
Sunny (voice-over): Do.
Denise: Harder! Little bit...get in there!
Jimmy sitting on couch with Katie giving her a massage
Sunny (voice-over): Really do.
Katie turns and starts kissing Jimmy
Jimmy: Oh, God.
Sacred Heart: Break Room (?)
Sunny: I'm out of here. Damn it! Do you have my other video camera? I can't find it in here. Where the hell is it?
Sacred Heart: Patient Room (?)
Jimmy (as announcer): Live from Sacred Heart Hospital, it's Jimmy the Orderly Show with your host, Jimmy the Orderly.
Jimmy (as host): Oh, no, oh, thank you. Oh, you're too kind. What do you say we bring out our first guest? From, from the movie Pineapple Express, here's Seth Rogan.
Jimmy (as Seth Rogan): Hello Jimmy. I don't know who you are.
Jimmy (as host): It's movie star Tom Hanks. We haven't seen you, uh, since what was that last movie?
Jimmy (as Tom Hanks): Well that was the Da Vinci Code.
Jimmy (as Seth Rogan): I'm high.
Jimmy (as host): From Inspector Gadget, it's Dr. Claw.
Jimmy (as Dr. Claw): I'll get you, Jimmy, next time.
Jimmy (as host): I don't know what that means, Dr. Claw, but I hope it's fun. Famed character actor, Paul Giamatti.
Jimmy (as Paul Giamatti): Uh, hello Jimmy. I don't know what you think you're doing, but you got your own show, and you're wasting it.
Jimmy (as host): I'm sorry Paul. Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Jimmy (as Philip Seymour Hoffman): What are you doing? Huh?
Jimmy (as Paul Giamatti): You're f***ing pissing me off!
Jimmy (as Tom Hanks): The Da Vinci Coooo...
Jimmy (as Philip Seymour Hoffman): You're pathetic Jimmy. That's what you are, you're pathetic.
Jimmy (as Tom Hanks): ...oooo...
Jimmy (as host): Oh, yeah, well, well I think, I think my friend...
Jimmy (as Tom Hanks): ...ooode.
Jimmy (as host): Topher Grace here would disagree with you.
Jimmy (as Topher Grace): I think your show kind of stinks.
Jimmy (as host): What does your costar from That 70's Show, Ashton Kutcher, have to say about it.
Jimmy (as Ashton Kutcher): Why is an orderly from a hospital doing a talk show? It doesn't make any sense.
Jimmy (as host): What about you Ryan Reynolds? You, you probably enjoy the show, right?
Jimmy (as Ryan Reynolds): Not really. It's kind of stinky-poo-poo.
Jimmy (as host): You shouldn't be so mean. You know it's, it's always been my dream to have my own late-night talk show.
Jimmy: Oh, hey Sunny.
Sunny: Hey, you took my camera!
Jimmy: No, no. I borrowed it for The Jimmy the Orderly Show!
Sunny: What?
Jimmy: It's, it's my late-night talk show--Jimmy the Or--you know, every Jimmy the Orderly Show always ends in a dance-off. Let's do this.
Sunny: Dance off.
Jimmy and Sunny dance
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