Theodore Buckland

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Theodore Buckland, Esq.



	Portrayed by	Sam Lloyd
	First seen	My First Day
	Occupation	Lawyer
	Employer	Sacred Heart Hospital
	Ailment	Bit off tongue (My Dumb Luck)
	Relationship	Divorced (wife unknown) Dating Stephanie Gooch
	Family	Mary Anne Buckland (mother) Brother (name unknown)
Images

“Finally, doctors, if there is a mistake, don't admit it to the patient. Of course, if the patient is deceased - and you're sure - you can feel free to tell him or her... anything.”— Ted

Theodore "Ted" Buckland, Esq. is the lawyer of Sacred Heart.

[edit] About

Ted still lives at home with his mother, who thinks he's a doctor. (My Scrubs) They used to sleep together in the same bed but now Ted has his own room and only sleeps in the same bed as his mother when he has a bad dream (My Soul on Fire, Part 1). Sometimes Ted helps her apply lotion to places she can't reach.

Ted was Bob Kelso's personal punching bag when Kelso was the Chief of Medicine. He is still emotionally scarred by how he was treated. (My New Role) Ted has virtually no self-esteem, and any confidence he had was systematically crushed by Kelso. He carries a murderous hatred of Kelso as well as suicidal tendencies, but lacks the wherewithal to do anything about either situation.It was mentioned in my blind date that he had a wife that left him.

Ted signing at Janitor's wedding

Ted is an attorney but not a very good one. He took his bar exam in Alaska. (My Lawyer's in Love) He is easily intimidated by other, better lawyers, so he is basically useless during disputes. He had aspirations at one point of being a senator, but that dream was crushed long ago. The amount of time he has actually worked at Sacred Heart is unclear because he once commented to Dr. Kelso that he had a full head of hair when he started out (which was also shown in a flashback), but later reveals to the Janitor that he began losing his hair in eighth grade.

Ted's only real release from his life is his band. He is a part of the A Capella band, The Worthless Peons. A group of similarly pathetic, but reasonably talented singers, who specialize in odd song numbers, such as television theme songs or commercial jingles. While generally despised, Ted's band did end up playing at Turk and Carla's Wedding fairly successfully. (My Best Friend's Wedding) Ted was also a member of the air-band The Cool Cats.

He is constantly fearful of Sacred Heart being sued. Once, when J.D. and Turk asked him what the issues would be if a doctor hit a golfball off the roof, and it went into the windshield of someone who would then go to that very hospital, Ted froze for a moment. When they attempted to get his attention, Ted greeted them once again, and asked them what he could do for him, as if he blocked the question out completely.

[edit] Relationships

[edit] Dr. Kelso

Dr. Kelso used Ted as his personal punching bag when he was Chief of Medicine. He often had Ted do demeaning tasks simply for his pleasure. Ted often talked about murdering either himself or Dr. Kelso due to this mistreatment. When Dr. Cox convinces the hospital that Dr. Kelso has died, Ted celebrated but was scared when he returned. When Dr. Kelso did retire, he seriously thanked Ted for all of his hard work and left Ted speechless. (My Dumb Luck)

[edit] Janitor

Ted seems to respect and follow the Janitor , and he's one of the few people Janitor has compassion for. He often helps the Janitor with his plans, and is a member of his brain trust. While the Janitor sometimes takes advantage of Ted, he's not nearly as bad as Dr. Kelso, and he encourages Ted to stand up to him. The Janitor even called a truce with JD to help Ted ask Stephanie Gooch out, and was inspired by Ted to be greener.

[edit] Social relationships

Ted was plagued with a lack of relationship for years. Typically, a beautiful woman even remembering his name is enough to make him infatuated. He did, however, have a short fling with a cancer patient who was going to die as a virgin (though in My New Game it is revealed that Ted is in fact impotent). Whenever a female interacts with him in a positive light, he says "we can walk home together", or other things among that degree, most of the time, in a slightly eager tone. He has mentioned that he was married, though now she is with his brother, though apparently through a mistake with divorce papers, he signed Dr. Cox's papers and vice versa, making them both still legally married. He recently met a singer at Sacred Heart named Stephanie, and the two are currently seeing each other. (My Lawyer's in Love) The two recently moved in together, and Ted is proud that they are having sex. (My Chief Concern)

[edit] Personality Profile

Ted's Mom (Their Story)

[edit] Likes

Brain Trust
Cycling
Danni Sullivan
The Gilmore Girls
His "Going-Out" Hair
His Mother
Scratching one side of his head with the opposite side hand.
- My Interpretation
- My Dream Job
Singing
Staring contests
Stephanie Gooch
Triathlons
When people know his name
The Worthless Peons

[edit] Dislikes

Dr. Kelso
His job
His bald head
His lack of courage
Lawsuits
Neena Broderick
Flop sweat
People other than his mom calling him Thunder (My Point of No Return)

[edit] Nicknames

Big Chief Flop Sweat (Dr. Cox) (My Nightingale)
Captain Clip-on (Dr. Cox) (My Drama Queen)
Garfunkel
Hair Club (Kevin Casey) (My Catalyst)
Lackey (Dr. Cox) (My Nightingale)
Loki
Ned (Dr. Kelso) (My Sacrificial Clam)
Sweaty Teddy (Perry Cox) (Mary Anne Buckland)
Sweat Balls
Teddy
Teddy Bear (Dr. Kelso) (My Occurrence)
Thunder (Mary Anne Buckland) (My Point of No Return)

[edit] Trivia

When he gets put on the spot, his throat closes up.
He constantly goes up to the roof, trying to work up the courage to jump. He had almost done so twice, but was stopped once by garbage that had been stashed by the Janitor and Randall, and once by the aura emanating from the rare occurrence of Dr. Cox in a good mood.
He keeps a bottle of pills and a gun in his office.
He keeps a smiley face button and a revolver in his briefcase. One is for when he gets sad the other is for when he gets really sad.
He often thinks about murdering Dr. Kelso. Kelso knows about this, but always replies "You don't have the guts." When asked about his dreams he replied, "Oh no, not me. I just have the one dream over and over. I hold his (Kelso's) head under the water until that last bubble goes... bloop"
Dr. Kelso says Ted is "hardly his type", but Ted disagreed saying that he had seen Enid. (My New Game)
Ted is an active member of the Brain Trust. At one point when he regained some confidence he left with Todd and started the Brain Bunch.
When Ted was a baby, his mother would sometimes leave his crib in the driveway and on one incident, a marble fountain fell on him. (This coincidentally also happened to the Janitor)
Ted once got Nurse Tisdale's phone number from Dr. Cox in exchange for a key to Dr. Kelso's room. (My Hypocritical Oath)
Ted had reconstructive surgery after Baxter ate the lower half of his hamstring. (My New Role)
Due to his excessive bicycle riding, Ted's sperm have no tails, therefore they just "float". (My Absence)
Ted's skin is very sensitive to the sun and demands a lot of sunscreen. Without it, he burns in mere seconds. (My Soul on Fire, Part 1) (My Soul on Fire, Part 2)