Robert Kelso

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Dr. Robert "Bob" Kelso



	Portrayed by	Ken Jenkins
	First seen	My First Day
	Born	Spring 1943
	Occupation	Doctor of Internal Medicine
	Employer	Self-employed Family practice
	Ailment	Stomach flu (My Cuz)
	Relationship	Married to Enid Kelso
	Family	Francis (nephew)
	Children	Harrison Kelso Thong Tri Kelso
Images

“What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso! How ya doin'.”— Dr. Kelso

Dr. Robert "Bob" Kelso was the Chief of Medicine at Sacred Heart Hospital until he willingly retired. He has recently decided to pursue working locum tenens in family practice.

About

Bob Kelso is married to his wife Enid, who is an wheelchair-bound overweight paraplegic. There is a rumor going around the hospital that once a year, on their anniversary, he and his wife sleep together. The result is that a day afterward Dr. Kelso is in a 'good mood', during which you can ask him for anything and you'll get it. Only Turk knows that this is just a ruse by Kelso to keep people from asking for things any other day of the year. Enid is at a fat camp during this time.

Dr. Kelso has a gay son, Harrison, who has been a source of torment to Kelso throughout the show. He often cites his son's actions when commenting on others' problems. Although he constantly complains about his son's action, he seems to harbor at least some affection for him; this is shown when he punishes Dr. Cox for bad-mouthing him, even in passing.

Although he has his hands full with his normal family, Dr. Kelso also seemingly has a few other illegitimate families he keeps on the side. He has had many mistresses, mainly prostitutes, and even a Vietnamese son, Thon Tri whom he is putting through school. The family member who receives most of Kelso's love is his dog, Baxter; an Australian shepherd who is aggressive towards his wife, Enid.

Recently, he turned 65 and was told that he had no choice but to retire in 3 months. After Elliot and Carla got Dr. Cox to convince the board to keep him, Kelso decided to quit on his own terms. He grabbed his portrait, thanked Ted for his years of loyalty, and drove away from Sacred Heart. (My Dumb Luck) He returns to Sacred Heart on a regular basis, however, to eat the free muffins he won from Coffee Bucks. (My Jerks) After feeling self conscious about hanging around Coffee Bucks all day, Kelso ventures off claiming to go traveling with Enid. However, it is revealed that he does not have enough money to travel as he wishes, and is content hanging around Coffee Bucks. (My Happy Place) Although he enjoys his retirement, including the ability to stay in the Bahamas for an extended amount of time, he misses being a doctor. (My Cuz) He has entertained the idea of temporarily working in family practice. (My Chief Concern) He left Coffee Bucks to pursue working in family practice locum tenens on the same day J.D. left Sacred Heart, and Bob stole his favorite table and chairs from Coffee Bucks as a memento. (My Finale)

Character History

Relationships

Dr. Cox

Kelso's relationship with Perry is a strange one. It's made up of one part hate and loathing and one part grudging respect. At times Dr. Kelso will do anything in his power to bring the hammer down on Dr. Cox, and other times they will be seen eating together and making fun of others. While Dr. Kelso does admit that Cox is a good doctor, he has no patience for the fact that Dr. Cox cannot just 'play the game' like everyone else, and instead goes by his own rules. The two of them often fight over new staff members, one trying to turn them against the other. Ever since Kelso retired, the position no longer gets in the way of their communication. They become "secret friends," which Kelso says has "all the trill of an affair, but without all that exhausting sex." They occasionally talk outside of the hospital, and Cox sometimes looks to him for advice. (My New Role)

J.D.

Dr. Kelso's relationship with J.D. is very similar to his relationship with everyone else, excluding Dr. Cox and Carla. He treats him with apathy, very rarely valuing his opinion, and is usually happy to see him in distress. In one of the 'his story' episodes, however, Kelso thinks to himself that he is actually somewhat fond of J.D., imagining him as the perfect life-partner for his son, if he were gay. (His Story IV). And on J.D.'s last day at Sacred Heart, the two converse on what J.D. thought his ideal last day would be; though he couldn't match his expectations, Dr. Kelso offers a handshake and wishes J.D. the best of luck.

Carla

Carla's relationship with Dr. Kelso started when she began temporarily getting rides to work with him, and the two bonded outside of work where he admired her 'sassy' nature. Their current relationship is currently unmentioned on the show, but it appears to be back to the normal Dr. Kelso/Employee status.

Elliot

Bob Kelso especially enjoys tormenting Dr. Reid. He constantly tries to undermine her confidence and self-worth, mocking her work decisions and lifestyle choices. She was at first extremely sensitive to this, and didn't think she could handle it. She has since become used to Dr. Kelso and has even gone as far as to openly mock him in his presence. For several episodes in Season 6 Dr Kelso stopped speaking to Elliot when she left Sacred Heart to become a Private Practice doctor. He has since gone back to insulting her as a doctor.

Turk

Dr. Kelso's relationship with Dr. "Turkelton" is much like his relationship with everyone else, with the exception of his use of the name "Turk Turkelton", which he insists is Turk's real name since he first used it after getting drunk at Turk's wedding. The "Turkleton" name has also been used by Jordan, possibly having heard it from Kelso, although she probably doesn't care what Turk's real name is. The "Turkelton" name has actually been transferred to Carla as well. Previously Kelso would refer to Carla as Nurse Espinosa, currently though, he greets her as "Nurse Turkelton". Kelso has admitted that Turk is the best surgeon in Sacred Heart. (My Cuz)

Ted

Theodore Buckland is Kelso's personal punching bag. He takes every opportunity to crush Ted's confidence and even going as far as pushing him to attempted suicide after reminding him that his accumulated vacation time expired. However, before he left for his retirement he sincerely thanked Ted for everything.

Nurse Laverne

Dr. Kelso seems to despise Laverne as much as any nurse, yet a long time ago he and nurse Roberts 'did it' once. 'He likes him some brown sugar', Carla's vision of Laverne Roberts explains to Carla while she is in a coma. However, this may not be true seeing as Laverne was so against sex before marriage. Altough this may have been before Laverne became religious.

Personality Profile

Likes

Bahama Mama (easy on the Bahama, heavy on the Mama) (My Soul on Fire, Part 2)
Baxter
"Bessy", his car, which has been slammed into by a patient, and had an electric scooter dropped on it.
Bobble heads
Cupcakes
Eating
Face Cake
Good Soup
Hearing his name spoken
His backyard fountains (My New Role)
His gardener
Mesh boxers (My Lawyer's in Love)
Moist Cake (My Way or the Highway)
Money, Saving Money
Muffins
PacMan and Ms. PacMan
Peanut butter on a spoon.
Prostitutes (Preferably South-East Asians)
Scones (My Saving Grace)
Shift switching
The day hypodermic needles arrive

Dislikes

Every staff member
Patients
Psych Docs
When people don't show him respect
Smiling
Bicycles
Sex with his wife
Spending money
Turkleton
Elliot Reid
Having to ask Carla for favors in Spanish
Dr. Cox's rants

Nicknames

Beelzebob (Dr. Cox) (My Nightingale)
Bob-a-tron (My Boss's Free Haircut)
Bob-o (self) (Dr. Cox) (My Boss's Free Haircut)
BobarinoPerry Cox
Bobby (Dr. Cox) (My Bad)
Bobcat (Dr. Cox) (My Kingdom)
Bottom-Line Bob (Dr Cox)
Mr. Sign-up-on-a-hospital-bulletin-board-for-private-german-lessons-and-then-never-show-up (Elliot) (My Lips Are Sealed)
Mr Doody-head (Elliot Reid)
Robbie (Elliot) (My Tuscaloosa Heart)

Trivia

Graduated 12th in his class from Stanford University in 1968 (allegedly)
Had the high score on Sacred Heart's Pacman machine until Turk 'unplugged' it.
In My Way Home it was revealed that he was once one of the best shortstop prospects in the Eastern League (AA) for Altoona. He was let go due to the influx of Dominican players and his constant referring to them by the name "Pepe".
In My Transition it was revealed that he has oddly youthful legs (which he shaves) and well developed calf muscles. When he served in Vietnam, he would scare Charlie (his helicopter pilot) by vertical leaps of over 8' from the ground into the chopper.
Put a quick release button on the ice machine to prevent anyone else from getting their hand stuck in the machine.
In the episode My Princess, the Dark Lord Oslek, (the antagonist based on Dr. Kelso) has the surname Kelso spelt backwards. Ted also calls Kelso Dr. Oslek in My Dream Job after he says he has stress induced dyslexia.
In Season Seven, Kelso becomes annoyed by certain personal quirks of staff members (namely Dr. Cox's speeches and Elliot's stories which end with "and then he hung himself") and begins cutting them off.
Like some physicians, he doesn't consider psychiatrists 'real doctors' and so makes Molly Clock do reports in order to "earn her keep"
He also wrote songs in college and played them on his guitar. They were about a certain "bunny" character. Later, it is discovered that bunny is a pet name for his wife, Enid.
Dr. Kelso also has a tattoo of the name "Johnny," on his ass. He's an old navy buddy and if you went through what they did, you'd understand.(My First Step)
He had at one time a cigarette boat named "Dr. Feelgood".
He has a nephew named Francis that cleans pools. (My Big Brother)
He has only one testicle. (My Quarantine)