- “Now, even though I won't be performing the transplant, I am a key member of the surgical team. It's too complicated to explain what it is I do, but in layman's terms I... I guess you'd call it "watching."”— Turk
"My Rule of Thumb" is the tenth episode of Scrubs' third season. Turk refuses to perform surgery on a patient who Dr. Cox is good friends with. Danni (Tara Reid) wants to move in with a reluctant J.D.. Carla and Elliot help a terminal Maggie Himsel fulfill her last wish - losing her virginity.
Synopsis
Cox and Turk face off over Barry Iverson.
Dr. Cox is in a good mood, as his good friend Mr. Iverson is on the top of the liver transplant list. After Perry takes a shot at Turk after surgery, and both Elliot and Turk really want to know what Dr. Cox actually thinks of Turk, Carla asks Dr. Cox this and he tells her he thinks that Turk isn't good enough for her. Later, Danni explains to J.D. that she wants to move in with him after seeing Jordan and Dr. Cox having sex.
Carla and Elliot are arrested.
Maggie is Carla and Elliot's terminal patient who is 38 and regrets still being a virgin. Carla and Elliot then go and try and find some male prostitutes for her but are arrested and call J.D. to pick them up. Turk is the surgeon who will be performing on Mr. Iverson, but after he finds out Mr. Iverson has broken hospital policy while drinking a small amount of alcohol while on the transplant list (therefore suggesting he will not look after the new liver), Turk refuses to perform surgery. Dr. Cox tries to convince him nonetheless, but Turk refuses, arguing that it will be unfair to the donor.
Danni moves in and brings men with her.
J.D. realizes he doesn't want Danni to move in and tries to convince her not to, but she has already got a set of keys for the apartment. Turk then shows Dr. Cox the patient who he believes should get the liver, Stephanie. Turk wants Dr. Cox to allow him to perform the transplant on her, because she has proved responsible and deserves it more, and Dr. Cox accepts this. Maggie then eventually has sex with Ted, Danni moves in with J.D. which he is not happy about and Carla then asks Dr. Cox what he really thinks about Turk, and he tells her Turk is "a complete tool, but she could do a lot worse". Dr. Cox, meanwhile, realizing he has to put fear back in the teachings for the residents to take him seriously, gives them a truly fearsome speech regarding responsibility.
Recurring Themes
More: Fantasies • Flashbacks • J.D.'s girl names • Janitor's pranks and lies
Danni plans to stay awhile
Fantasies
- A karate midget jumps out J.D.'s locker, and punches him in the crotch.
- Dr. Cox's breath of happiness spreads around the hospital, and lifts everyone's spirits, most notably Ted's, who was just about to commit suicide.
- J.D. walks in on Dr. Cox and Jordan having sex with bondage. There is a large masked man chained up in the corner and suddenly the karate midget jumps out from the shadows and punches J.D. in the crotch.
- Danni is in J.D. and Turk's apartment, and she as well as the whole room is covered in toilet roll.
- J.D. is sitting reading a book in the corner of the apartment while men wearing nothing but banana hammocks are dancing round the apartment with Danni.
Janitor story
Randall hides in J.D.'s locker
Janitor's spirit is lifted by Dr. Cox's breath of happiness and starts dancing with his mop in J.D.'s fantasy. In the real world, he warns J.D. not to open his locker anytime soon for some unknown reason.
J.D.'s Girls Names
Guest Stars
- Martin Klebba as Randall Winston (Custodian)
- Tara Reid as Danni Sullivan
- Mike Starr as Barry Iverson
- Cheryl White as Maggie Himsel
- Nickolaus Brown as Larry
- Shay Brown as Surgical Intern
- Joel Huggins as Slim
- Jessica Kate Meyer as Stephanie
- Joe Sabatino as Cop
Music
Ted is about to jump.
♫ List of music featured in Scrubs
- "Happy Go Lucky Me" by Paul Evans
- "Its Raining Men" by the Weather Girls
Quotes
Cox and Jordan having sex.
Todd is immature.
Elliot takes a picture.
Danni's male dancer friends.
- “Hey, Bobbo, now when the dark prince does finally call you home, please promise me that you'll donate your body to science. And I don't mean medical science, I mean NASA. Because when those buzz-cuts have all but given up on trying to figure out just exactly what a black hole is, and they get one look at that space where your heart was supposed to be, well by-gum, you know they're just gonna say, [southern drawl] "Awwww, shucks! That's what it is!"”— Dr. Cox
- “Hey, champ! What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso. How ya doin'.”— Dr. Kelso
- “Hey, champ! What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso. How ya doin'.”— Dr. Kelso
- “Oh! I'm sorry! Are you talking? Because I've decided to keep my finger on the button, so I actually can't hear anything that's going on in there. But, for fairness' sake, I've decided to do your end of the conversation. It goes a little something like this: "Blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, cool hip-hop lingo, blah-blah, blah-blah-blah."”— Dr. Cox
Trivia
- The first episode where Dr. Kelso uses the "two thumbs" joke: What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap?.
- This episode initially was shot as a medical marijuana episode. Elliot and Carla were supposed to get marijuana for a chemotherapy patient. However, NBC didn't allow that, so they had to reshoot the episode involving getting them a man whore for a patient who never had sex before, with which there was no problem. (Source)
- Carla claims that Dr. Cox never told her what he thinks about Turk. However, he did tell Carla what he thought about Turk in "My Brother, My Keeper".
- The only regular cast members that aren't shown when Dr. Cox is lifting everyone's spirits are Doug, The Todd and Laverne Roberts.
- The only cast member who was not affected by Dr. Cox's good mood is Dr. Kelso, who is disappointed that Ted did not jump off the roof of the building.
- Martin Klebba's character, Randall Winston, is a reference to Mayor Randall Winston from Spin City.
- J.D. referring to Carla and Elliot as Lucy and Ethel is a reference to characters of the same name from I Love Lucy. The two women always get in trouble, like Carla and Elliot did in this episode.
- When Elliot is talking to the virgin patient, she talks about a time in high school when she had an "orgasm face", yet in a previous episode she told Carla that she has never had an orgasm. Elliot's romantic life is full of differing stories.