- “In my case it was never about sabotaging myself. It was the simple answer just like Turk said; I had knocked up a girl on our first date and I don't have strong feelings for her and probably never will. And the only reason we're still together is because there is a kid involved, which means I'm gonna stay with her until the very end. Whether I love her or not.”— J.D.'s narration
"My Own Worst Enemy" is the first episode of Scrubs' seventh season. J.D. vows to attempt to be less self destructing. Elliot calls off the marriage to Keith. Dr. Cox goes out of his way to cure a patient. Janitor starts dating Lady.
Synopsis
J.D.
Finding themselves in a compromising position, J.D. and Elliot prepare to kiss. Elliot changes her mind at the last second, and they agree that it almost happened because they are both nervous about their current relationships. J.D. later realizes that he almost kissed Elliot because he always is self destructing his relationships. He then realizes he self destructs many other things in his life. He vows to attempt to be less self destructing. However, no one seems to care that he is successful in his efforts.
Elliot
Elliot breaks it off with Keith
Meanwhile, Elliot calls off the marriage to Keith. As the entire hospital watches, she gives him back the ring. At the same time, Snoop Dogg Attending tells Josephine how he feels about her. After the break-up, Keith is very sour towards Elliot. When she confronts him in her house, he gets upset and they start yelling at each other. The yelling leads to kissing, which leads to sex. Back at the hospital, Elliot confides in Carla, who tells her she needs to call it off... again. She does and upsets Keith... again, who is sour with her... again.
Dr. Cox
Kevin Rahm as Joe Hutnik.
Dr. Cox gets a new patient, Joe Hutnik who is very agreeable. He instantly gets on Dr. Cox's good side. When Dr. Cox finds out that the patient has lyme disease, he has Fun-Size Intern search him for tick bites. When she can't find any, he enlists Turk to search for any surgical issues. When Turk can't find anything wrong, Dr. Kelso demands they discharge the patient. They transfer him to dermatology, but Dr. Kelso finds out. Upon Turk's and Dr. Cox's request, Dr. Kelso asks the patient to leave himself, but likes him too much to kick him out. After Dr. Beardfacé gives them an unintended clue, they realize Fun-Size missed the tick bite - under the patient's hair.
Carla
Carla must try to comfort Elliot, and give her good advice, but also must help Turk decide which candy bar he should choose, for his semi-annual candy bar.
Recurring Themes
Nominees for the "Who Caresies Awards"
More: Fantasies • Flashbacks • J.D.'s girl names • Janitor's pranks and lies
Fantasies
- Dr. Cox hands out the "Who Caresies Awards". The contestants are J.D., Elliot, The Todd, and Turk. J.D. wins.
Janitor story
Janitor is cornered by J.D. while he is holding flowers. He says they are for his girlfriend. He yells at a woman at the other end of the hall, and says her name is Lady. J.D. does not believe him, but in the end her name really is Lady, and she is dating Janitor.
J.D.'s Girl Name
- Dame Judy Dorian (twice)
During J.D.'s fantasy:
- “Dame Judy Dorian for "I'm done self-sabatoging".”— Dr. Cox
- “And the winner is...Dame Judy Dorian”— Dr. Cox
Episode Running Gags
- Whenever Joe says "Call me Joe" and smiles, people immediately like him.
- Elliot, J.D., and Turk each have a "weird crystallizing moment."
- Keith angrily calls Elliot a "pig whore." If it is preceded by adjectives, Elliot will note on them.
- Whenever Turk sweats he smells like eggs. [noted by Dr. Kelso, J.D., and Carla.].
Guest Stars
- Kevin Rahm as Joe Hutnik
- Manley Henry as Snoop Dogg Attending
- Kit Pongetti as Ladinia "Lady" Williams
- Geoff Stevenson as Dr. Seymour Beardfacé
- Aseem Batra as Josephine
Music
♫ List of music featured in Scrubs
- "Alive With the Glory of Love" by Say Anything
- "Where We Gonna Go From Here" by Mat Kearney
Quotes
Keith moves out of Elliot's place
- “Hey!”— Snoop Dogg Resident
- “Hey!”— Snoop Dogg Resident
- “Sorry, Snoop Dogg Resident.”
- “Hey!”— Snoop Dogg Attending
- “Hey!”— Snoop Dogg Attending
- “Snoop Dogg Attending?!”
- “That's right, baby”
- “That's right, baby”
- “Hey, be cool, be cool. I'm working on it.”
- “Hey, be cool, be cool. I'm working on it.”
- “I'm witchu Dawg, just keep it real.”
- “I'll leave for $10.”— Dr. Kelso
- “I'll leave for $10.”— Dr. Kelso
- [Cox gives him $10.]
- “Pleasure doing business.”
- “Pleasure doing business.”
- [Kelso leaves, before J.D., Turk, Carla and Elliot all sit at Cox's table simultaneously.]
- “Hey friend.”— J.D.
- “Hey friend.”— J.D.
- “What, are you bored up there?”— Cox to God
"Big news, sports fans!" -- J.D.
- “Ahhhhhhhhh.”— The rest of Sacred Heart watching Elliot dump Keith
- “Awwwwwww.”— J.D.
- “Awwwwwww.”— J.D.
- “J.D....”
- “No, Snoop Dogg Attending finally told Josephine how he feels.”
- “No, Snoop Dogg Attending finally told Josephine how he feels.”
- “Awwwwwww.”
- “Hey Everybody, look. A rainbow.”— Turk
- “Hey Everybody, look. A rainbow.”— Turk
- “Ooooooooooo.”— The rest of Sacred Heart
- “Ahhhhhhhhh.”— The rest of Sacred Heart watching Elliot dump Keith
- “Oh, its too late for that, she died.”— Turk
- “Oh, its too late for that, she died.”— Turk
- “Not Ming Ming!”
- “Yeah, her mama sat on her, and then ate her.”
- “Yeah, her mama sat on her, and then ate her.”
- “Stupid nature.”
- “I don't even know if Rumple Fugly was a girl.”— Turk
- “Stop it, Fugs was awesome.”— J.D.
- “Stop it, Fugs was awesome.”— J.D.
- “OK, you know what. This why it was so easy to walk out on you.”— Elliot to Keith
- “Bit-O-Honey.”— Turk
- “Bit-O-Honey.”— Turk
- “Oh, I'm so so sorry.”
- “Don't be. I ate that bad boy an hour and a half a go, and I'm still pulling bits-O-it outta ma teeth.”
- “Don't be. I ate that bad boy an hour and a half a go, and I'm still pulling bits-O-it outta ma teeth.”
- “Big news, sports fans! I've decided to start calling everyone 'sports fans'. Yeah, I know I'm not exactly the jocky type but I watched Hoosiers last night and I like sports now.”— J.D.
Trivia
- The running joke of referring to Elliot as "mole butt" is used when listing J.D's previous girlfriends.
- This episode marks the first appearance of Josephine and Lady.
- The same television season which this episode aired (Fall 2007), NBC also began airing a new series starring Christian Slater entitled "My Own Worst Enemy".
- In the "House M.D." episode that aired two weeks later there is also a patient with borreliosis and they find the erythema migraines under his head of hair too.
- At the start of the episode, when J.D. and Elliot almost kiss "Alive With the Glory of Love" by Say Anything is playing, this is same song used at the end of the "My Point of No Return", where the scene of J.D. and Elliot's almost kiss started.
- Discontinued error: When Dr.Cox say "If you wanna lose the nickname you have to have shave the beard..." you can see Dr. Kelso is laying down on Dr Cox's legs but when Beardface leaves the room Dr, Kelso is sitting next to Cox.