Wikia

Scrubs Wiki

My Missed Perception transcript

1,472pages on
this wiki
Talk0
5x6staff

The following is a transcript of the Scrubs episode "My Missed Perception".

Scene 1Edit

Open: Street. J.D. is riding down the street in his scooter helmet and goggles.

J.D.'s Narration: Since my scooter was in the shop, I didn't know how I was going to get to work today. But luckily, my neighbor, Ronald, lent me his ride.

(J.D. is shown riding on a minibike.)

J.D.'s Narration: Ronald's six. But I still got there in time to steal the security guard's Arts and Leisure section.

J.D.: Hello!

(J.D. rides past the security guard and steals his newspaper. The guard chases him.)

J.D.'s Narration: Around here, everyone has some sort of morning ritual. Whether it's getting help on the daily word jumble from the dyslexic tracheotomy patient...

(Cut to patient's room. Elliot sits with and elderly patient.)

Elliot: Uh, T-E-I-P-O-P.

Patient: [in a wheezy voice] Potpie.

Elliot: Save your voice, Marcia. Mm. Save it.

(Cut to Physical Therapy.)

J.D.'s Narration: ...Cursing out an innocent orderly over a stolen physical therapy tub....

Dr. Kelso: Dammit, you'd better find it! Physical therapy tubs don't just disappear!

(Cut to roof.)

J.D.'s Narration: ...Or for some, just a relaxing afternoon soak on the roof.

(Janitor is in a whirlpool bathtub on the roof. Todd enters in his banana hammock.)

Todd: Oh come on, let me in. This totally covers my boys.

(Janitor points to a handwritten sign on the side of the tub that says "NO BANANA HAMMOCKS."

Janitor: You try to get in here wearing that thing and I'm gonna give you a four-story atomic wedgie.

(Janitor's watch beeps. He stands up and points a mirror at J.D. riding by on the minibike, still being chased by the security guard.)

J.D.: Wah! My eyes!

(J.D. veers out of control and crashes into some thorn bushes. Cut to Nurse's Station. J.D. sits on the counter in front of a group of nurses. His arm is in bandages.)

J.D.: Well, yeah, it hurts. But when you accept the keys to the hog, you become a lifetime member of the danger club. Excuse me, fine ladies. I've got lives to save.

(Cut to Elliot walking down the hall reading a chart. J.D. enters, carrying the wrecked minibike.)

Elliot: [gasps] Ronald's gonna be mad.

J.D.: Yeah, well he's six. What's he gonna do, kick my ass?

J.D.'s Thoughts: Again.

(J.D. dumps the bike in a trashcan.)

Elliot: Hey, check this guy's chart out. He says he's been in pain for, like, three months.

J.D.'s Narration: For doctors, pain is complicated. Every patient handles it differently, depending on their race...

(Cut to an exam room. An Asian patient in a kimono and headband with Japanese kanji has a large knife stuck in his shoulder and is completely straight-faced.)

Asian Patient: Does what hurt?

(Cut to another room. A pregnant woman is in labor and her husband is holding her hand.)

J.D.'s Narration: ...gender...

Husband: Ow! I just bit the inside of my lip! Agh! Nothing's ever hurt so badly!

(Cut to another exam room. A patient dressed in a black leather S&M outfit has a giant fishhook stuck in his cheek. A doctor examines it.)

J.D.'s Narration: ...or even their sex life.

S&M Guy: OHHHHHH....yeah, that feels good.

(Cut to Elliot's patient's room.)

J.D.'s Narration: And since there's no way to truly gauge how much pain someone's in, we have to rely on an archaic chart.

(Elliot and J.D. look at a pain chart depicting illustrations of people's faces in varying degrees of pain.

Elliot: Mr. Peele, you're about a seven on the pain chart.

(Elliot holds up the chart to compare the face on the chart with Mr. Peele's.)

Elliot: Yep, you're a seven.

Mr. Peele: What's a ten?

(Todd drops into view in the window, hanging from his banana hammock. He is screaming in intense pain as he smacks into the glass.)

J.D.: That's a ten.

OPENING THEME

Scene 2Edit

Open: ICU J.D. walks past the Nurse's Station.

J.D.'s Narration: After four years here, I'm finally comfortable with helping myself to the nurses' muffin basket.

(J.D. takes bites from each of the muffins in the basket in fast-motion and walks off with a mouthful of muffin.)

J.D.'s Thoughts: Mmm...Blueberry-cran-carrot-zucchini-poppy-seed-chocolate chip!

J.D.: All right, everybody, last one here has to do a double shift this weekend.

(J.D. draws an imaginary line in front of him with his foot as his interns rush to the line and dive towards it.)

J.D.: Keith! Looks like you just lost your weekend.

Keith: What? I totally beat Lisa.

J.D.: Lisa, call that androgynous husband of yours and tell him or her you're mine this weekend.

Lisa: But I feel like I edged out James.

J.D.: OK, my bad, so we're not crystal clear on the ground rules. OK, tomorrow it will be the last one to touch my face. Nah, I'm not gonna like that. The last one to touch my bot-- No, that's probably illegal. I tell you what, I'll just email everyone. That's what I'll do. This day and age that's what you do. OK, over here. Guys, Mr. Jenkins spent all night without being treated. Now, I know he's homeless and smell's like an obese man's twosie.

Mr. Jenkins: Hey!

J.D.: Sorry, thought you were dozing. The thing is, guys, it doesn't matter if he's a homeless guy or some senile old racist.

Mr. Bursick: Which people do I hate again?

J.D.: Immigrants, Mr. Bursick. You hate all immigrants.

Mr. Bursick: And why do I hate--

J.D.: [interrupting] I don't have time, Mr. Bursick. Guys, if I give you a patient, I expect you to work your butts off for him. And P.S., Mr. Jenkins is a Vietnam vet. So let's take care of him like he took care of our nation. Get out of here!

(Interns exit. Dr. Cox enters.)

J.D.: That's how you light a fire under their butts, Perry, you get 'em going with some inspiration!

Dr. Cox: Too much talking, too much talking, too much talking, too much talking, too much talking, too much talking. Why did you order a BMP test on my patient, Mrs. Wilk, last night?

J.D.: Because she's my patient.

Dr. Cox: Interesting, seeing as *I* admitted her--

J.D.: [interrupting] and *I* treated her last night.

Mr. Bursick: Dr. Dorian, why do I hate all--

J.D.: [interrupting] Because they're stealing all of our jobs, Mr. Bursick, stealing all of our jobs. Perry, we've spent an equal amount of time on Mrs. Wilk, and seeing as we're both attendings, i.e. equals, why don't we let her decide who her doctor is, huh?

Dr. Cox: Or, we could skip the day trip to Unnecessary-land and instead, simply concede that Mrs. Wilk is *my* patient and while we are both attendings, we are in no way equals. We are, in fact, not equals. We are...mmmm...un-equals.

(Cut to Mrs. Wilk's room.)

Mrs. Wilk: I choose Dr. Dorian.

J.D.: Oh my God. Oh, my God, I don't even believe it! I don't believe it! I don't believe it-lieve it-lieve it! Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yes! I'm shaking, look at this. It's crazy talk.

Mrs. Wilk: He played hearts with me all night.

(Dr. Cox groans and exits.)

Mrs. Wilk: You're a very strange young man, aren't you?

J.D.: I was a premie.

(Cut to Mr. Peele's room. His wife is at his side.)

Elliot: Mr. Peele, I have run everytest and I cannot find any medical reason for your pain.

Mr. Peele: GUUHH!

J.D.'s Narration: Then Elliot did what every good doctor does when they're truly stumped. She pawned him off.

Elliot: I've called a surgical consult.

Mr. Peele: Nnnnye.

(Turk enters.)

Turk: Help has arrived! Help has arrived.

Elliot: Ha. Turkleton!

(Elliot hands Turk the chart and exits.)

J.D.'s Narration: And then Turk said what every surgeon says when they're not sure what to do.

Turk: Hm. Mind if I slice you open?

Mr. Peele: DAAAAAHH!

(Turk jumps in surprise.)

Turk: AAAAAHHH! Uncool!

(Cut to Nurse's station.)

Carla: OK, listen up everyone! I'm sure you all got the flyer I made reminding everyone of the annual staff picture. I need to know by a show of hands how many of you aren't gonna be able to make it.

(Everyone raises their hands.)

Carla: Oh, come on! Aren't you guys embarrassed by our last three staff pictures?

(Carla points to three pictures on a shelf labeled 2002, 2003 and 2004. Each picture has fewer and fewer people in it, with 2004 only having Carla and Todd, in his banana hammock.)

Carla: Laverne. I'm gonna need a little bit of your church enthusiasm to help sell this.

(Carla and Laverne step up on chairs.)

Carla: Dammit, everyone, we are a family.

Laverne: [very exaggerated] A family, people!

Carla: And I know we love each other.

Laverne: [very exaggerated] Love is all we got!

Carla: So can't we just take ten minutes from our day to take a real staff photo?

(Laverne picks up a tambourine and begins dancing. Turk begins clapping and Elliot dances, too.)

Laverne: [singing] Yes, we can! Yes, we can!

Carla: Tambourine's a little much, Laverne.

Elliot: Carla, I don't photograph well. On my driver's license I look like Gary Busey.

(Elliot exits and passes the real Gary Busey, dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and lab coat.)

Gary Busey: They say the same thing about me. Ha.

(Gary Busey exits.)

Turk: [to Gary Busey] See you later, Elliot.

Dr. Cox: I am gonna let big Bob here give the first excuse.

Dr. Kelso: Blah, blah, blah, I'm not doing it.

Dr. Cox: I'm caught on his collar!

(Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso exit.)

Carla: This picture is happening!

Janitor: No it's not.

Carla: Oh, what do you know, mop jock?

Janitor: I've predicted a couple of things over the years. The kitchen fire of '97, the kitchen fire of '98, the arson conviction of Luis the fry cook, and of course, the eventual termination of the hospital's Convicts to Cooks program. Bottom line? Not gonna happen.

Turk: [singing with Laverne's tambourine] Not gonna happen! No, not gonna happen, ha, ha! Not gonna hap--

(Turk stops and puts down the tambourine seeing Carla's withering look.)

Turk: By the way, uh, I won't be at the picture either.

(Turk exits.)

Carla: [to herself] You'll be there. You'll all be there.

(Cut to ICU. J.D. slides across the counter to Dr. Cox.)

J.D.: Hellooo! If you're wondering what a thank-you-for-being-my-doctor card from Mrs. Wilk looks like, it looks a little something like this.

(J.D. produces a card and shows it to Dr. Cox.)

Dr. Cox: [reading the card] "Happy Anniversary, gals?"

J.D.: Oops. This one's actually from my Aunt Judy and her lady friends. Must have grabbed the wrong card.

(Dr. Cox gives his imaginary warning light signal)

Dr. Cox: Uhh, Newbie...

J.D.: Oh, right, your imaginary warning light. Don't be mad, Perry, this day was bound to come. See, I've studied you. I've taken your best qualities and my best qualities and I've combined them into something even better. Much the way that iced tea and lemonade were joined to become an Arnold Palmer. Incidentally, has anyone ever done less to become famous? I mean, yea for me, I mixed two drinks together.

Dr. Cox: Arnold Palmer is a golfer.

J.D.: I'm sure he has lots of hobbies, Perry. The man's a drink mogul.

(J.D. exits, reading his card.)

J.D.'s Narration: In a hospital, even the best of moods can be ruined by somebody handing you a chart.

(An orderly hands J.D. Mrs. Wilk's chart as he enters Mrs Wilk's room.)

J.D.: Do you have any family, Mrs. Wilk?

Mrs. Wilk: No. I was married twice. Divorced one, the other one died. Wrong one died.

J.D.: Look, Mrs. Wilk, you have something called systemic amyloidosis. Now, it's in your liver now, but eventually it will shut down all your organs. There's a treatment, but it's very invasive, and at best, it'll just give you a little more time.

Mrs. Wilk: Well, I've had a great life son.

J.D.: Say no more. I'm gonna take amazing care of you.

Mrs. Wilk: OK.

(Cut to hallway. J.D. and Turk are walking through.)

Turk: How's it going today, buddy?

J.D.: Pretty crappy. I just had to tell an old lady she's dying. How about you?

Turk: OK. Elliot turfed this chronic pain patient to me. I have no idea what's wrong with him, so I have to do exploratory surgery.

J.D.'s Thoughts: I always wondered what exploratory surgery was like.

(Cut to J.D.'s fanatasy. Turk is operating on a patient. Indiana Jones theme music plays.)

Turk: I've made the first incision. I'm going in.

(He dives headfirst into the patient's body and drops into a cavern-like intenstine.)

Turk: Nurse! Hat!

(An Indiana Jones fedora drops from above. Turk puts it on. and begins walking through the "cave.")

Turk: Colon. Why did it have to be the colon?

(He reaches the end of the tunnel. There is a golden rock on a pedestal.)

Turk: Removing the golden tumor.

(He replaces the rock with another bag. Arrows begin shooting at him from all directions as he takes off running. He emerges with the rock.)

Turk: Ladies...

(The nurses have been shot with many small arrows. They fall over backwards.)

Turk: They knew the risks.

(End fantasy. Cut to hospital parking lot.)

J.D.: Watch out for colon darts.

Turk: Where's the doughnut truck? I got paged there was a doughnut truck out here!

Elliot: I got paged there was a handbag sample sale!

Todd: Where's the boobie-touching booth?

J.D.: It's weird, it's like everyone was lured out here by the thing they want most in the world.

(Dr. Cox enters running, his pager beeping.)

Dr. Cox: [to J.D.] Hey! You're not getting your ass kicked!

Dr. Kelso: Hold the phone! Look! Bleachers! Ladder! Bucket of combs! She's trying to take the picture! Scatter!

(Everyone scatters in chaos. Carla is on the ladder, yelling.)

Carla: Nobody move! Laverne, door!

(Laverne is blocking the door with a large broom, fending people off.)

Laverne: Nobody's gettin' past here, baby!

(Cut to bleachers. The whole staff is posed for the staff picture.)

Carla: OK, everybody, one, two...


(Cut to roof. Janitor points a mirror at the camera lens on "three," blinding the camera.)

Janitor: ...and, three.

(Cut to Mrs. Wilk's room.)

J.D.: What are you doing here?

Dr. Cox: Mrs. Wilk was asking me some questions that I actually thought would be best answered by you.

Mrs. Wilk: Why did that sweaty attorney ask me if my affairs were in order?

J.D.: Because I want to make sure you're as comfortable as possible.'

Mrs. Wilk: As comfortable as possible? For what?

Dr. Cox: I'm going to sit for this.

J.D.: For the place that you're going. You know, the big, puffy, clouds? The bright lights? All your old friends?

Mrs. Wilk: Seattle?

J.D.: No, no, no, not--not Seattle. The--you know, the dying peacefully place.

Mrs. Wilk: What are you talking about?

Dr. Cox: Now, I'm going to stand.

J.D.: This morning you told me you'd had a great life.

Mrs. Wilk: Exactly, and I'd like to continue it.

J.D.: Oh, this is just a misunderstanding, I'm so sorry. Tell it was a misunderstanding, that...

Dr. Cox: He's tried to kill before.

J.D's Narration: In a hospital, the words "I'm sorry" can mean a lot of different things.

(Cut to Mr. Peele's room)

Turk: So, the surgery went fine. Unfortunately, I didn't find any medical reason for you pain.

J.D's Narration: It can mean "I'm giving up on you."

Turk: I'm sorry.

(Cut to Nurse's Station. Carla is looking at the blinded-out staff photo.)

J.D.'s Narration: It can mean you're not sorry at all.

Janitor: Sorry your picture didn't turn out.

Carla: Yeah.

(Cut back to Mrs. Wilk's room.)

J.D.'s Narration: And sometimes "I'm sorry" can mean your services are no longer needed.

Mrs. Wilk: I'm sorry, Dr. Dorian.

(Dr. Cox escorts J.D. out the door.)

Dr. Cox: So, you gave her the old death sentence, did you? [whispering] In the business, we call that a rookie mistake. Thanks for playing.

Scene 3Edit

Open: ICU Nurse's Station. Dr. Kelso looks at a basket of fruit with bite marks in each piece.

Dr. Kelso: Who the hell is responsible for this?

J.D.'s Narration: Unfortunately, not even my mouthful of apple-pear-orange-banana-cherry-berry could lift my depression about losing my patient to Dr. Cox.

Dr. Cox: Hand over your stethoscope.

J.D.: What?

Dr. Cox: In victory, I get your stethoscope. It's a trophy. You're lucky we're not back in olden times. I'd have made a necklace out of your teeth.

(J.D. hands over his stethoscope.)

J.D.: I find this highly unprofessional.

Dr. Cox: Now I'm going to check on Mr. Jenkins, your war hero. I feel he, too, deserves a competent doctor. In fact, I'm gonna take all of your patients, and consequently, your only reason for getting out of that lacy, over-pillowed, four poster virgin cocoon you call a bed every morning.

(Dr. Cox exits, bumping J.D. roughly on the shoulder.)

J.D.: [to himself] I gotta get Mrs. Wilk back.

(J.D. looks in Mrs. Wilk's room. She presses a button on a remote control and the blinds close.)

J.D.: When did we have a shade remote? I didn't know we had shade remotes.

(Cut to Nurse's Station.)

Janitor: Aww, either your picture didn't come out, or we got a hospital full of vampire doctors.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Vampire doctors? How did he hear about my screenplay?

Carla: I don't know why you did it, but I know it was you.

Janitor: How?

Carla: Because it's always you.

Janitor: It's not always me.

(Dr. Kelso rushes by on roller skates, which he was evidently unaware of when he started walking.)

Dr. Kelso: GAAAAH-AAAH-AAAH!!!

(Dr. Kelso crashes into a cart offscreen.)

Dr. Kelso: Who the hell put tiny wheels on my shoes?!

Janitor: Well, that's his fault. He took a nap in the lounge.

Carla: Why would you ruin this for me? I mean, I didn't even ask you to be there.

Janitor: Imagine that. I've been working here for thirteen years and I guess I don't rate as part of the family.

Carla: Did you want to be in the picture?

Janitor: No! It's just uh...wh...uh..it's ah...I gotta go.

(Dr. Kelso rolls past again, this time in control)

Dr. Kelso: I actually love these.

(Cut to ICU.)

J.D.: Ms. Brooks, your blood work looks fine. But I'd like to take one more sample. Just for me.

(J.D. reveals vampire fangs and bends down dramatically to bite Ms. Brooks' neck. She moans seductively. J.D. stands up and spits the blood into a tube that Keith is holding.)

J.D.: You know, you taste a little anemic. Get that down to the lab, buddy.

Keith: Right away, Dr. Acula.

J.D.: That's what they call me. How you doing?

(Cut to cafeteria. The preceding scene was a scene from J.D.'s screenplay.)

J.D.: The end.

Turk: So Dr. Acula is a doctor *and* a vampire?

J.D.: He's both. And at the very end, I'm gonna put "Dr. Acula" across the screen, take that period, get it out of there. Squish it together, it'll say "Dracula"

(As J.D. describes the title card, it appears on the screen.)

Turk: That is an awesome ending!

J.D.: Um, thank you for telling me what I already know, Turk.

(J.D. exits. Mrs. Peele enters.)

Elliot: Frick, it's Mrs. Peele! And one of us has to talk to her.

Turk: All right, the first one to chug their slushy is off the hook. Come on, here we go!

(Turk starts chugging his slushy, then stops.)

Turk: GAAAAAHHHHH!! AAAAAAAHHHH!! OHH! Brainfreeze!

Mrs. Peele: Why is my husband being discharged?

Elliot: Look, Mrs. Peele, we really cannot jus---

Turk: YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAHHAHHAHHH!! It's so cold!

Elliot: Mrs. Peele, even though Dr. Turk is currently incapacitated by his cherry-flavored beverage, he is a fantastic surgeon.

Turk: [still in pain]Yuh-huh.

(He gives a thumbs up.)

Elliot: And he didn't find anything. And I am a great doctor...

Turk: [still in pain] Ehh...

(He gives a mediocre wave.)

Elliot: ...and I didn't either. Don't you think that maybe the pain could all be in his head?

Mrs. Peele: Last week, we were all watching TV and he was in too much pain to get up and use the bathroom. So he soiled himself. On the couch, right in front of our son. How do you explain that?

Turk: Maybe there was a really good game on television.

Elliot: Probably not.

(Cut to hospital exterior. J.D. is editing his screenplay on a bench. Janitor is on the roof and uses a magnifying glass to set his screenplay on fire.)

J.D.: AHH! My screenplay!

(J.D. drops the burning screenplay on the ground. Dr. Kelso rolls up to the bench and sits down.)

Dr. Kelso: Hey, sport!

(Dr. Kelso bends down and lights his pipe in the fire.)

J.D.: You just lit your pipe on my title page.

Dr. Kelso: I heard Mrs. Wilk gave you the axe.

J.D.: She said "I've lead a great life." And every doctor in the world knows that's code for "I'm ready to die."

Dr. Kelso: How old do you think I am, Dorian?

J.D.'s Thoughts: OK, there's no way to answer that and not get in trouble. Change the subject.

J.D.: Sir, I would be honored if you and Enid would join me at my place on Sunday for some homemade jambalaya.

Dr. Kelso: Well, it would be good for Enid to get out of the house.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Oh my God, he's actually thinking about it. Change the subject back!

J.D.: You're seventy-eight, sir.

Dr. Kelso: You think I'm that old?

J.D.: Jambalaya.

Dr. Kelso: I'm fifty-seven, numb nuts.

J.D.: Really.

Dr. Kelso: I know they say fifty-seven is the new forty.

J.D.: Who?

Dr. Kelso: But lately it seems all people see when they look in my direction is some old guy. Hell, just last week I was in the mall hanging out in Brookstone's and some kid asked me if I was lost.

J.D.: Brookstone? Were you looking for gadgets, sir?

Dr. Kelso: If that's what you trolling for mall ass, then yeah.

J.D.: Oh.

Dr. Kelso: The point is, you think Mrs. Wilk is old enough to die. I'm betting she doesn't agree.

(Cut to cafeteria. Carla sits down with Turk, Elliot and J.D.)

Carla: How am I supposed to know the Janitor has feelings?

Elliot: I should have just believed Mr. Peele. I mean it's not like somebody poos their pants for no reason.

J.D.: Turk did that in college on a bet.

Turk: Carla did not know that story. Thank you.

J.D.'s Narration: Sometimes when you're feeling guilty, it's like a storm cloud over your head.

(Thunder rumbles, wind blows and rain falls Carla, Turk, Elliot and J.D.)

J.D.: I knew there was only one way to make the guilt storm go away.

(Cut to Mrs. Wilk's room. J.D. is wet from his personal raincloud.)

J.D.: Mrs. Wilk, I'm sorry.

(The raincloud is replaced by sunshine on J.D.'s face. He shakes his hair dry, then snaps to reality, as the cloud was in his imagination.)

J.D.: Mrs. Wilk, I just wanted to say I was wrong to think that you wouldn't want to try every possible treatment there is, to avoid, you know, the--place. You know, there's clouds and...Space Needle...Seattle.

Mrs. Wilk: Yes, you were. Thank you.

J.D.: You're welcome. You got a lot of pluck for an older gal.

Mrs. Wilk: How old do you think I am?

J.D.: Jambalaya!

J.D.'s Narration: There are a lot of ways to make amends.

(Cut to Nurse's Station.)

J.D.'s Narration: It can be as simple as including someone...

Carla: Hey. I want you to be in the picture.

(The janitor looks around to see that no-one is watching, then picks up Carla in a hug and shakes her around, finally cracking her back before putting her down.)

Carla: I thought you were trying to kill me.

Janitor: I fought the urge.

Carla: OK.

Janitor: Thanks.

(Cut to Mr. Peele's room. Mrs. Peele is helping Mr. Peele get dressed.)

J.D.'s Narration: ...Or as complicated as committing to a difficult journey.

(Turk and Elliot enter.)

Turk: Mr. Peele, we believe your pain is real.

Elliot: And you're not going anywhere until we figure it out.

Mrs. Peele: Thank you.

(Cut to Admissions Area. J.D. is talking to a woman. Dr. Cox enters.)

J.D.'s Narration: The important thing is to regain the respect of your peers.

Dr. Cox: Say, Newbie. I uh, I gotta hand it to you. It took the heart of a lion to apologize to Mrs. Wilk like that.

J.D.: Thank you.

Dr. Cox: Of course it took the incompetence of a bewildered jackass to make that error to begin with. Never make assumptions based on your own perceptions. Just never do it.

J.D.: Really? You've been spending a lot of time treating my guy, Mr. Jenkins, right?

Dr. Cox: Yeah, he's a Vietnam veteran. He deserves as much.

J.D.: Yeah, actually he's just a homeless guy. I made up the war veteran story to motivate my boys. But, what are you gonna do?

(Dr. Cox gives his imaginary warning light signal.)

J.D.: Oh, come on, you've gotten me like a hundred times. I finally got you once. It was bound to happen, right?

Dr. Cox: I see your point. Kindly blow it out your ass.

J.D.: [laughs]

(Dr. Cox and J.D. walk out to the parking lot, where everyone is assembled for another staff picture. Janitor is wearing a suit and tie.)

Carla: How did you get all these people to come out here?

Janitor: Fear.

Carla: OK, everybody, one, two, three!

(Carla holds up posterboard saying "2005" as the picture is taken. Everybody cheers.)

CLOSING THEME

NavigateEdit

Around Wikia's network

Random Wiki