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"My Life in Four Cameras"
Season Four, Episode Seventeen ◄►
Directed by Adam Bernstein
Written by Debra Fordham
Aired February 15, 2005 on

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“Unless all of you want to see me turn a two syllable word into a six syllable word I re-he-he-he-heally think that we should keep looking.”— Dr. Cox

"My Life in Four Cameras" is the seventeenth episode of Scrubs' fourth season. A health scare causes the hospital to be flooded with people believing they have E. Coli. J.D. imagines what life would be like if it was a sitcom. Dr. Cox tries to stop Dr. Kelso from making a budget cut which would result in someone getting fired.

Synopsis

A morning news report states 27 deaths resulting from an E. Coli breakout so the hospital is flooded with people who believe that they have it. J.D. and Elliot are forced to screen patients. Upon finding out that he is treating Charles James, a former writer for Cheers, J.D. rushes him upstairs so he and Turk can recite their favorite lines from Cheers.

Carla & Turk

The night before, Kylie came over to the apartment for Sanford and Son night. Carla felt romantically competitive after seeing how affectionate Kylie and J.D. were and she and Turk decide to schedule kisses like J.D. and Kylie are doing. They both get distracted easily and lie to get out of their second kiss, unfortunately, they catch each other in the act and regrettably find that their relationship has lost its spark.

Kelso's budget hunt

Meanwhile, Dr. Kelso announces that he will be closing one of the hospital wings in order to save money. Dr. Cox, after some persuasion by Jordan, decides to prove to Kelso that they can make the budget cuts, but inevitably discovers that he has to fire someone. He decides he must fire the cafeteria worker with the least tragic story, which is the cheery, dorky and child-like, Kenny.

Sitcom Sacred Heart

After discovering that Charles has lung cancer, J.D. fantasizes about what would happen if life was like a sitcom: Sacred Heart Hospital is made much brighter, the female staff are dressed more seductively and the doctors get huge cheers from the live studio audience when they enter the ICU.

Charles regrets that he hasn't done all the things that he wanted to do in his life, so Elliot agrees to fulfill all of his requests, with some help from J.D.. They go on a hot air ballon ride, have lunch at the beach and go to a carnival. Dr. Cox and Jordan in the meantime attempt to save Kenny's job. After stating that they need $26,372, they see a banner for a talent show. 1st prize is, conveniently enough, the exact amount needed to cover Kenny's pay. Dr. Cox tells the staff that one of them needs to win so the Hospital can cover Kenny's salary.

Elliot and Carla do Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" in Swissgerman, the Janitor does stand-up comedy, badly. J.D. and Turk do "World's Most Giant Doctor Goes To The Farm". After such bemusing entries it looks like all hope is lost until Kenny sings Stevie Wonder's "Isn't She Lovely" and wins the money. Elliot takes another look at the chart and says that it's not Charles James that has lung cancer, but James Charles. While J.D. is saying aloud his thoughts and what he's learned, the sitcom writer faints, to which J.D. responds that "this isn't right".

In the end

We then return to real life, and discover that Charles is dying. Turk and Carla need to work on their relationship, and Kenny is fired by a regretful Dr. Cox. After a tough day, J.D. can go home and temporarily forget the problems the hospital throws at him and his friends by watching sitcoms.

Recurring Themes

More: Fantasies • Flashbacks • J.D.'s girl names • Janitor's pranks and lies

Fantasies

J.D. imagines that life is a sitcom.

Flashbacks

Elliot treats her favourite weatherman who's had a heart attack. Elliot waits until the exact moment his condition stabilizes, before getting a picture with him.

Janitor story

Janitor tells Jordan and Dr. Cox that he uses his keys to read the staff's personnel files. He's the one who suggests that Dr. Cox fire the least pathetic of the cafeteria staff. Janitor teaches J.D. about mopping, showing him his "sweater mop" and "beige cord pants". He then enters the talent show doing his terrible stand-up routine. When nobody laughs at his jokes, Janitor threatens to start unplugging patient's life support machines.

“Oh, brother. Look, I, uh...either start laughing or I start unplugging your machines.”— Janitor, when his routine bombs

J.D.'s girl names

Loretta

“Loretta, relax. I've been in every ridiculous TV induced panic there is.”— Dr. Cox

(As J.D. has his face painted like Spiderman, Dr. Cox obviously calls him...) Spidergirl.

“Spidergirl.”— Dr. Cox

[J.D. tries "slinging webs" out of his wrists]

Guest Stars

Clay Aiken as Kenny
Deonté Gordon as Figsack
Donald Sage Mackay as Dr. Page
Ken Lerner as Charles James
Chrystee Pharris as Kylie
Jeremy Howard as Fat Frank
Lloyd Lineen as Hank the Dishwasher

Music

♫ List of music featured in Scrubs

"Isn't She Lovely" by Stevie Wonder (performed by Clay Aiken)
"Let's All Go To The Lobby" by Quincy Jones (parody performed by Donald Faison)
"Where Everybody Knows your Name" (a.k.a. Cheers theme song) by Gary Portnoy
"The Streetbeater" (a.k.a Sanford and Song theme song) by Quincy Jones (parody performed by Donald Faison)

Quotes

“Carla was certainly trying to be as adorable as us”— J.D.'s Narration

[J.D. loses an arm wrestle to Kylie]

“Argh, darn it, you won!”— J.D.

“Unfortunately, Turk wasn't on the same wavelength.”

[Turk emphatically beats Carla at arm-wrestling]

“AAAHHH! DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET, CARLA!? DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET, WHEN YOU MESS WITH THE WARRIOR?!”— Turk

“Loretta, relax, I've been involved in every ridiculous TV induced panic there is. Poison pills, SARS, West Nile, North Face, South Fork, East River, Monkeypox, Pop Rocks, Toilet Snakes, Mad Cow, Bird flu, Swine flu, and, quite frankly, every other flu that you could really only catch if you're actually fornicating with the animal it's named for. And as a parting gift, I will tell you this: Narrow it down to two symptoms, vomiting and diarrhea. Because it's just not E. Coli unless it's firing out both exits.”— Dr. Cox

“OK, listen up, everyone. For budgetary reasons, we are turning the bathrooms on even-numbered floors into patients rooms. To sum up, floors two and four are no longer for one or two. Actually, there's still a bathroom on two, but then my joke wouldn't have worked.”— Dr. Kelso

“Quiet down now! It is time to watch the show. Yes, it's started, don't be lickin' me no mo. Matter fact, could you get me a handy wipe?”— Turk, (Sung to the Sanford and Son theme song)

“Are you just gonna roll over like that?”— Carla

“That's weird, I asked him the same thing last night.”— Jordan

“Where's the outrage? The anger? The hate?”

“Again, last night!”

“You've gone soft.”

“[Gasps] OK, now it's getting spooky.”

“It's floating wicker propelled by fire!”— J.D. on why he's scared of hot air balloons

“Let's take a look at our other options. Gandhi? You appear to be a man that is utterly without talent. Unless, of course, you wanna count the fact that you are the 20th best basketball player in a predominately white hospital?”— Dr. Cox

“Is that my new sweater?”— J.D.

“No, this is my new sweater mop.”— Janitor

“It went dynamite with my beige cords!”

“You mean my beige cord sponge?”

“You know what, save your breath! I'm about to get in a hot-air balloon and get Evil Knievel on my own ass!”— J.D.

“Are you humming the "let's all go to the movies" song?”— Carla

“Is that not our song?”— Turk

“It's sung by hot dogs!”

“Wait a second! This chart isn't for Charles James, it's for James Charles! He's the one who has cancer, not you!”— Elliot

“And who cares about him! He's anti-Semitic!”— J.D.

“Well, that's a load off my mind!”— Charles James

“Unfortunately, things around here don't always end as neat and tidy as they do on sitcoms. Relationships aren't always magically fixed in 30 minutes, you have to work on them. Problems don't always have easy solutions. And around here, nice people don't always get better. And at times like that, it's always comforting that there's something that can pick your spirits up.”— J.D.

Trivia

In the "sitcom world" of J.D.'s fantasy, most of the female characters, including Elliot, Carla, Jordan and the nurse standing behind the nurses' station, are wearing low-cut blouses and short skirts. Elliot is also wearing high heels and her famous push-up bra. In addition, when the janitor walks in, a man can be seen at the nurses' station who is wearing shorts and no shirt.
In the fantasy talent show, Elliot is reciting a German translation of the "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo" speech from "Romeo and Juliet".
- In the German translation, she actually speaks Swiss German dialect
Dr. Cox had made a comment about turning the word really into a six syllable word, but he changed it into seven syllables.
At the beginning of the episode, when J.D. is crowd-surfing, a man can be seen carrying him through the crowd.
The episode won an Emmy Award in 2005, ironically for Outstanding Multi-Camera Picture Editing, despite Scrubs normally being a single camera show.
The sitcom fantasy was filmed in front of a live audience. Sarah Chalke talks about it on the DVD episode commentary, stating that a contest was held by the Los Angeles radio station KROQ-FM, for the most hard core Scrubs fans to be a part of the 'live studio audience'. A special set was even built just for this episode.
The character of Charles James is probably a combination of the names of the creators of Cheers - James Burrows, Glen Charles and Les Charles.

SEASON FOUR EPISODES
1. "My Old Friend's New Friend" 2. "My Office" 3. "My New Game" 4. "My First Kill" 5. "Her Story" 6. "My Cake" 7. "My Common Enemy" 8. "My Last Chance" 9. "My Malpractical Decision"	10. "My Female Trouble" 11. "My Unicorn" 12. "My Best Moment" 13. "My Ocardial Infarction" 14. "My Lucky Charm" 15. "My Hypocritical Oath" 16. "My Quarantine" 17. "My Life in Four Cameras" 18. "My Roommates"	19. "My Best Laid Plans" 20. "My Boss's Free Haircut" 21. "My Lips Are Sealed" 22. "My Big Move" 23. "My Faith in Humanity" 24. "My Drive-By" 25. "My Changing Ways"
Episodes: 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 _w • 9