“Due to lack of funds, I'm shutting down our babymobile, which means there will no longer be free prenatal care for underprivileged women. Bottom line - if you're thinking about knocking up a homeless gal, I'd do it this weekend.”— Dr. Kelso
Due to budgetary constraints Dr. Kelso has had to close the pre-natal unit for underprivileged women, he is also receiving an award from the AMA and J.D. has to introduce him. Trying to get a peek of Kelso's human side J.D. follows him around all day, but to no avail. On the same day two patients are looking to get into a medical trial to shrink tumors, one rich and one poor. Originally, Dr. Cox's patient, Mr. Morrison, was going to be entered into the trial, until Kelso found out that the rich patient was suffering the same tumor. When J.D. sees Kelso leaving the hospital happy and whistling, he can't help but feel sickened.
It comes the time of the awards dinner and J.D. still has nothing. When he gets up to the podium, he says Kelso's name before Kelso takes over. Cox tells him that Kelso just likes hearing his own name and that he hopes J.D. didn't obsess over it too much, clear in the knowledge that he had tricked his protegé once again.
Elliot is busted at the free clinic by J.D., Turk and Carla
After losing her fellowship, Elliot is stuck working at the Free Clinic for minimum wage. Elliot is finding the Free Clinic insufferable, and it gets worse when J.D. and Turk find out. The boys and Carla try to help her out, but not wanting to owe her friends back, Elliot refuses. She continues to refuse and work at the free clinic. Until, Kelso comes in with an STD not wanting his wife to find out, he subsequently gives Dr. Reid her job back.
J.D. continues to obsess about the speech for the next few weeks, thinking that even the good things Kelso does are sometimes for the wrong reasons. But also, how he would want to pull off the balancing act that Kelso has to. After seeing Mr. Morrison pass, Kelso leaves the Hospital in a somber mood, upon coming across the gang he starts happily whistling, too proud to lose his reputation.
With the money the Hospital received from the rich patient (who replace Mr. Morrison in the drug trial), Dr. Kelso is able to re-open the babymobile.
J.D. imagines having the 'best-of-both' with Elliot and Turk, in the form of a hybrid named "Turkiot" who is goofy, plays computer games and lets J.D. touch its boobies.
Elliot realizes J.D. is fantasizing about feeling her boobies, but then tells J.D. to stop imagining and start "fondling" and she then starts offering herself to him.
As the future progresses, years after the current time, Elliot is still repaying and doing favors for J.D., Carla and Turk for getting her job back, including transplanting her hands onto J.D.'s chest.
Dr. Kelso manually applies an earring to prove his "fidelity" to Enid
Dr. Kelso has just left from a day where half a dozen children died in the hospital, but as soon as his foot steps outside of the hospital he stops caring.
Dr. Kelso puts in an earring into his un-pierced ear to prove to Enid that he is not cheating on her.
Dr. Bailey "numbs" a patient by clicking on a pen light, and aims it at the patient's chest while murmuring "numb, numb, numb".
Janitor takes advantage of J.D.'s pride by inventing a game called Jiggly Ball. He convinces Hospital employees (including Turk, Elliot and Carla) to pretend they know of the game. When J.D. lies, too proud to admit he has no idea what Jiggly Ball is, Janitor says they're going to play in the parking lot. Turns out "Jiggly Ball" involves J.D. standing still, while everybody throws tennis balls at him. It is only having been pelted with hundreds of tennis balls that J.D. realizes Jiggly Ball was not a real game.
Turk's patient Mr. Keck describes Turk to Elliot as "cocky black doctor with a white doctor (J.D.) following him around and looking at him like he's in love." Turk and J.D. find out that Elliot is working at the free clinic because he described her as a "blond haired woman who talked so fast and in such a high pitched voice when she was upset, her words just eventually became gibberish."
Many of the characters reference Jiggly Ball to J.D.
“I really missed living with Turk, but living with Elliot wasn't that bad.”— J.D.'s Narration
“Hey, roomie! I'm having the girls from my yoga class over for drinks tonight. And F.Y.I., Tina, the tiny brunette, just got dumped - and she's looking for rebound sex! Honestly, how could I be a better roommate?”— Elliot
“She could be half Turk and half Elliot.”— J.D.'s narration
“Due to lack of funds, I'm shutting down our baby mobile, which means there will no longer be free prenatal care for underprivileged women. Bottom line - if you're thinking about knocking up a homeless gal, I'd do it this weekend.”— Dr. Kelso
“Guy I despise so much, I'd pay someone to kill you and stuff you and leave you by my bed, so that when I wake up in the morning I can roll over and punch you in the face...of the year.”— Dr. Cox on Dr. Kelso
“Everyone has a human side, Coxy. Even Kelso!”— J.D.
“Y'know Laverne, I'm a Doctor . So, I'm not gonna take my psychological evaluations from someone who dispenses them between watching "Maury" and eating a corn muffin.”
[Laverne looks at J.D. scornfully]
“[OK, that was too mean. Apologise.] Laverne, I... [Ah, the hell with it, she's not gonna forgive you. Go for broke] I was watching CNN earlier; apparently the Terror Alert in your armpits has been elevated to Orange. Oh no he didn't, yes Laverne, he did.”
[About getting an ear-ring]
“It’s a hip-hop world son, keep up or get out of the way.”— Dr. Kelso
“Look, I know this place isn't the greatest, but it's not like I lie awake thinking about being yelled at by Dr. Cox or playing Jiggly Ball with the orderlies.”— Elliot
“How do I not know about this game!?”— J.D.'s narration
“You could swim at the Y on Tuesdays, men only.”— Turk
“Have you been to the Y on man night? Not me.”— J.D.
“No. I'm busy cleaning... Haha... That one always kills.”— Janitor
“Ummm, I don't know if surgery is necessary. Last night I was in pain, so I went to a free clinic. The doctor there said surgery wasn't my only option.”— Mr. Keck
“Well, you're just gonna have to get him on the phone and tell him that I won't be second-opinioned by a clinic doctor who couldn't carry my jockstrap!”— Turk
“I think I know this guy. Is he a cocky black doctor with a white doctor following him around and looking at him like he's in love?”— Elliot
“You would make a pretty girl”— J.D.
“Yeah.”
“Alright, now repeat after me.”
“You can't decide for me. That's not your duty.”
“And are they both trying not to laugh at the word "duty?"”
“Yeah. Hey Heckle and Jekyll, no surgery.”
“Who the hell is this?”
“Where are my shoelaces?”— Patient
“I said to tell him that he had a laxity in the peritoneal wall and that surgery was unnecessarily invasive! Was that so hard?”
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