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My Jiggly Ball

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Due to lack of funds, I'm shutting down our babymobile, which means there will no longer be free prenatal care for underprivileged women. Bottom line — if you're thinking about knocking up a homeless gal, I'd do it this weekend.Dr. Kelso

SynopsisEdit

5x4-Wheelchair Balance

Wheelchair balancing by Dr. Cox.

Because of budgetary constraints, Dr. Kelso has to close the hospital's prenatal unit for underprivileged women. He is also receiving an award from the American Medical Association, and J.D. has to introduce him. Trying to get a glimpse of Kelso's human side, J.D. follows him around all day, to no avail.

On the same day, two patients, one rich and one poor, are looking to get into a medical trial to shrink tumors. Originally, the poor one — Dr. Cox's patient, Mr. Morrison — was going to be entered into the trial, until Kelso found out that the rich patient had the same type of tumor. When J.D. sees Kelso leaving the hospital happy and whistling, he can't help but feel sickened.

It comes time for the awards dinner, and J.D. still has nothing positive to say. When he gets up to the lectern, he only has a chance to say Kelso's name before Kelso takes over. Cox tells him that Kelso just likes hearing his own name and that he hopes J.D. didn't obsess over the introduction too much, clear in the knowledge that he has tricked his protégé once again.

5x4-Elliot is found at free clinic

Elliot is busted at the free clinic by J.D., Turk, and Carla.

After losing her fellowship, Elliot is stuck working at a free medical clinic for minimum wage. She finds the job insufferable, and it gets worse when J.D. and Turk find out. The boys and Carla try to help her out, but not wanting to be in her friends' debt, Elliot refuses. She continues to work at the free clinic until Kelso comes in with an STD. Not wanting his wife to find out, he gives Elliot her job back.

5x4-Sad Kelso

Kelso shows a shred of humanity.

J.D. continues to obsess about the speech for the next few weeks, thinking that even the good things Kelso does are sometimes for the wrong reasons, but also that he wouldn't be able to pull off the balancing act that Kelso has to as chief of medicine. After seeing Mr. Morrison die, Kelso leaves the hospital in a somber mood. But when he runs into the gang, he starts whistling, too proud to lose his reputation.

With the money the hospital received from the rich patient who replaced Mr. Morrison in the drug trial, Dr. Kelso is able to re-open the prenatal unit.

Plot PointsEdit

  • J.D. tries to find the human side of Dr. Kelso.
  • Elliot is stuck working in a free clinic but refuses to accept any help.
  • Dr. Cox tries to get a terminally ill patient into a drug trial.
  • Janitor invents Jiggly Ball.

NotesEdit

  • After Dr. Cox rolls away in his wheelchair, chanting, "I don't know what I believe," he can briefly be heard beginning the next verse, which starts with "Newbie," but he is cut off by the title sequence.

Recurring ThemesEdit

FantasiesEdit

5x4-Turkiot

"I died, Turkiot." — J.D.

  • J.D. imagines having the "best of both" with Elliot and Turk in the form of a hybrid named "Turkiot" who is goofy, plays video games, and lets J.D. touch its breasts.
  • Elliot realizes J.D. is fantasizing about feeling her breasts, and tells him to stop imagining and start "fondling." She then starts offering herself to him.
  • Dr. Kelso is lit up and described as "an angel."
  • Years after they get her job back, Elliot is still repaying and doing favors for J.D., Carla, and Turk, including transplanting her hands onto J.D.'s chest.
5x4 Kelso's earring

Dr. Kelso forces in an earring to prove his "fidelity" to Enid.

FlashbacksEdit

  • Dr. Kelso is leaving the hospital after a day when half a dozen children died there, but as soon as his foot touches the pavement outside, he starts whistling.
  • Dr. Kelso puts an earring into his unpierced ear to prove to Enid that he is not cheating on her.
  • Dr. Bailey "numbs" a patient by clicking on a pen light and aiming it at the patient's chest while murmuring, "Numb, numb, numb."

Janitor storyEdit

5x4-Carla nurses J.D.'s injuries

Carla tries to heal the wounds she helped inflict on J.D. via Jiggly Ball.

Janitor takes advantage of J.D.'s pride by inventing a game called Jiggly Ball. He persuades hospital employees (including Turk, Elliot, and Carla) to pretend they know of the game. When J.D. lies and says he knows of it too, too proud to admit he has no idea what Jiggly Ball is, Janitor says they're going to play in the parking lot. It turns out Jiggly Ball involves J.D. standing still while everybody throws tennis balls at him. It is only after being pelted with hundreds of tennis balls that J.D. realizes Jiggly Ball was not a real game.

Are you in?Janitor

Jiggle me in.J.D.

J.D.'s girl namesEdit

  • Priscilla and Carol
Priscilla, I honestly, on my mother's grave, thought your real name was Carol.Dr. Cox

5x4-Gibberish

Elliot speaking gibberish.

Episode Running GagsEdit

  • Elliot describes Turk to his patient Mr. Keck as a "cocky black doctor with a white doctor (J.D.) following him around and looking at him like he's in love." Turk and J.D. find out that Elliot is working at the free clinic after Mr. Keck describes her as a "blond-haired woman who talked so fast and in such a high-pitched voice when she was upset, her words just eventually became gibberish."
  • Many characters reference Jiggly Ball to J.D.

Guest StarsEdit

  • 5x4-Colonel Doctor

    Bob Bencomo as "Colonel Doctor"

    Thomas Bankowski as Stoned Orderly
  • Bob Bencomo as Colonel Doctor
  • Michael Merton as Mr. Keck
  • Paul Raci as Drunk Guy
  • Duane Shepard Sr. as Mr. Morrison
  • Geoffrey Wade as Dr. Bailey
  • Abra Chouinard as Gynecological patient (uncredited)

MusicEdit

  • "Sideways" by Citizen Cope
  • "Natalie" by Florez

QuotesEdit

5x4-Kelso steps onto the ground

Kelso steps onto the ground outside the hospital.

I really missed living with Turk, but living with Elliot wasn't that bad.J.D.'s Narration


Hey, roomie! I'm having the girls from my yoga class over for drinks tonight. And F.Y.I., Tina, the tiny brunette, just got dumped — and she's looking for rebound sex! Honestly, how could I be a better roommate?Elliot

She could be half Turk and half Elliot.J.D.'s narration


That man knows he's doomed!Keith


Due to lack of funds, I'm shutting down our baby mobile, which means there will no longer be free prenatal care for underprivileged women. Bottom line — if you're thinking about knocking up a homeless gal, I'd do it this weekend.Dr. Kelso


Guy I despise so much, I'd pay someone to kill you and stuff you and leave you by my bed, so that when I wake up in the morning I can roll over and punch you in the face...of the year.Dr. Cox on Dr. Kelso


Everyone has a human side, Coxy. Even Kelso!J.D.

The hell he does.Laverne
Y'know, Laverne, I'm a doctor. So, I'm not gonna take my psychological evaluations from someone who dispenses them between watching "Maury" and eating a corn muffin.

[Laverne looks at J.D. scornfully]

[OK, that was too mean. Apologize.] Laverne, I... [Ah, the hell with it, she's not gonna forgive you. Go for broke.] I was watching CNN earlier; apparently the terror alert in your armpits has been elevated to Orange. Oh no he didn't. Yes Laverne, he did.


[About getting an earring]

It’s a hip-hop world, son. Keep up or get out of the way.Dr. Kelso

I gotta get an earring.J.D.


Look, I know this place isn't the greatest, but it's not like I lie awake thinking about being yelled at by Dr. Cox or playing Jiggly Ball with the orderlies.Elliot

How do I not know about this game!?J.D.'s narration


You could swim at the Y on Tuesdays, men only.Turk

Have you been to the Y on man night? Not me.J.D.


Can I talk to you for a second?J.D.

No. I'm busy cleaning. [Everyone laughs.] Haha... That one always kills.Janitor


Ummm, I don't know if surgery is necessary. Last night I was in pain, so I went to a free clinic. The doctor there said surgery wasn't my only option.Mr. Keck

Well, you're just gonna have to get him on the phone and tell him that I won't be second-opinioned by a clinic doctor who couldn't carry my jockstrap!Turk
I think I know this guy. Is he a cocky black doctor with a white doctor following him around and looking at him like he's in love?Elliot
You would make a pretty girlJ.D.
Yeah.

All right, now repeat after me.
You can't decide for me. That's not your duty.

And are they both trying not to laugh at the word "duty"?
Yeah. Hey, Heckle and Jeckle, no surgery.

Who the hell is this?


Where are my shoelaces?Patient

I said to tell him that he had a laxity in the peritoneal wall and that surgery was unnecessarily invasive! Was that so hard?

TriviaEdit

  • J.D. makes reference to the HBO cowboy drama Deadwood.
  • Dr Kelso wears a lab coat that reads "Perry Cox, M.D." at times in this episode.
  • One of the doctors balancing on a wheelchair is played by cinematographer John Inwood.
  • When the doctors are in the wheelchairs and Dr. Cox says "Group, position right!", Dr. Mickhead messes up and turns left.
SEASON FIVE EPISODES

1. "My Intern's Eyes"
2. "My Rite of Passage"
3. "My Day at the Races"
4. "My Jiggly Ball"
5. "My New God"
6. "My Missed Perception"
7. "My Way Home"
8. "My Big Bird"

  9. "My Half-Acre"
10. "Her Story II"
11. "My Buddy's Booty"
12. "My Cabbage"
13. "My Five Stages"
14. "My Own Personal Hell"
15. "My Extra Mile"
16. "My Bright Idea"

17. "My Chopped Liver"
18. "My New Suit"
19. "His Story III"
20. "My Lunch"
21. "My Fallen Idol"
22. "My Déjà vu, My Déjà vu"
23. "My Urologist"
24. "My Transition"

   Episodes: 12345678 w9

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