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The following is a transcript of the Scrubs episode "My Best Moment".

ActEdit

WHEELCHAIR RAMP J.D. staggers in, grunting and groaning, with Turk slung over his shoulder. Once in the front door, he drops Turk and collapses to the floor.

J.D.: All the way from the parking lot! I told you I could do it! Who's the idiot now! [breathless] Ow....

Cut to... I.C.U. Turk pushes J.D. through in a wheelchair.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Despite my burning thighs, giving Turk that piggyback ride was worth it. Because I'm sure it put him in a great mood.

Turk: I'm in the worst mood.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Why did I do it!?

Turk: Kelso's got this new stupid outreach program where families are allowed to observe surgeries. Yesterday I had to do a bypass on this guy. [gestures to the room where a white family is gathered around the bed] You should have seen the family, standing there motionless, silently judging me.

      • FLASHBACK: O.R.

The family is shown doing just that.

BACK TO PRESENT***

Turk: And today I gotta do a colectomy on that guy. [gestures to another room where a black family is gathered around the bed] What do you think his family is gonna be like?

      • FANTASY: O.R.

The black family anxiously stands in front of the observation window with popcorn.

Woman: There's a tumor in there! There's a tumor in there!

Guy: Ohh, don't go behind the kidney, brotha!

They shriek and upset their popcorn.

BACK TO REALITY***

J.D.: Shhhh!

Turk: You didn't go to the black family yelling at the movie screen stereotype, did you?

J.D.: Like a bear to honey. [noticing the time] Oh my God, I was supposed to be downstairs ten minutes ago to talk to a bunch of pre-med students about what it's like to be a doctor.

Turk: Oh, don't worry. I gotcha.

He turns J.D.'s chair to the stairwell.

J.D.: Buckle up, buddy!

Cut to... LOWER FLOOR HALL The waiting pre-med students turn at the sound of J.D. and Turk's whooping as the chair rattles down the stairs.

Turk: Hell yeah!

J.D. leaps out of the chair and opens the lecture room door.

J.D.: Hey, kids, I'm Dr. Dorian. I'm sure you have lots of questions, so let's get started.

Cut to... LECTURE ROOM J.D. paces as he talks.

J.D.: So, basically it's a topical application consisting of equal parts triethanolamine and phenyl dimethicone. I suggest applying it twice a day for extra hold. [he demonstrates with his hair] Okay? Here's a sample tube, Reuben. Excellent query.

He tosses the tube to a grateful wild-haired young man.

J.D.: Okay, then, anybody else? Reuben again?

Reuben: [stroking his now tame hair] What was your best moment in medicine?

J.D.: I-I'd say my best moment was probably my second year, New Year's Eve. A young pregnant woman could barely make it into the hospital, she had her baby right there on the ramp.

      • FLASHBACK: WHEELCHAIR RAMP

"What the World Needs Now is Love" plays. Several people are gathered around as J.D. hands the baby to the young woman in the wheelchair. She's wheeled in, and most of the crowd follows, leaving J.D. alone with an attractive blonde in her mid-to-late thirties.

Blonde: You know, that's my first grandchild. Did you deliver?

J.D.: No, I didn't. But I did watch. And I am a doctor. And you look amazing.

BACK TO PRESENT***

J.D.: So even though Dr. Mickhead actually delivered the kid, yours truly rang in the new year with grandma!

The students stare at him.

J.D.: We had sex.

He does a wild arm motion.

J.D.: That's how I do it.

Flash to... CAFETERIA Carla, Turk, Elliot, and the Todd are at a table with J.D., who has just recounted this story. Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso share the next table.

Elliot: That was your best moment?

Turk: I totally get it. Older ladies know how to work it!

Carla: Okay, see, now you're in a bit of a pickle because the older lady you're talking about better not be me, and it sure as hell better not be somebody else. So whatta you have to say?

Turk: Your favorite jeans are too tight and they look ridiculous!

Carla: What!?

Turk: Well, I--I'm in trouble anyway and it needed to be said!

Carla: Well, unfortunately for you that's just not true! Right?

She looks to the others for backup, but they all look away.

Turk: Heh!

Carla: Wow.

Todd: I'll tell you what my best moment in medicine was.

      • FLASHBACK: O.R.

The patient on the table flat-lines.

Dr. Wen: Dammit, we lost him. Call it.

Todd: I'm not giving up on this guy! Prop his hand up.

Nurse: What?

Todd: I said prop his hand up!

The patient's hand is lifted, and Todd spits on his own palm and gives a high-five. The heart monitor jolts into a rhythm.

BACK TO PRESENT***

Todd: That's right: The Miracle Five.

Dr. Kelso: You take this one, Perry.

Dr. Cox: Great moment, there, dumb-ass. It starts out with a profound misunderstanding of how the human body works, and winds up with you shattering some old man's hand.

Todd: Oh, yeah.

J.D.: You know what'd be really neat? If you guys all took a second and thought about what your best moment in medicine was.

As one, they stand up and leave.

J.D.: It woulda been neat.

ActEdit

ADMISSIONS J.D. and Elliot watch a guy in his thirties, Mr. Milligan, being wheeled in.

J.D.'s Thoughts: There's nothing sadder than a young guy checking into the hospital during the holidays. I think I'll tell Elliot that.

J.D.: There's nothing sadder than a young guy checking into the hospital on the holidays.

Elliot: Mmm.

A young boy, Tyler, walks in after, an ice cream cone in hand.

Tyler: Hi. That's my dad.

Elliot: Except that.

As Tyler stands there, the ice cream scoop falls off his cone and plops onto the floor.

Elliot: And that.

Cut to... MR. MILLIGAN'S ROOM Tyler is at his dad's side while Carla chart's the man's symptoms.

Mr. Milligan: Just been so tired lately. Yesterday, when the little man and I were wrestling, he--he dropped me in ten seconds.

Tyler: I got him with a power kick.

J.D. enters with an ice cream cone.

Carla: Hey! You brought Tyler a new ice cream cone!

That's obviously not the case, but J.D. reluctantly forks it over anyway.

J.D.: Sure....

Tyler: Thanks.

J.D.: It's a waffle cone. So, Mr. Milligan, it turns out you have a pretty serious case of mono.

Mr. Milligan: Don't you get that from kissing?

      • FLASHBACK: DARKENED DEN

Several couples are making out, A-Ha's "Take on Me" playing on the stereo. A younger J.D. sits on the couch next to one such couple, nodding his head to the music.

The girl next to him breaks off from her guy to sneeze right on J.D., then goes back to kissing. J.D. freezes at the attack but recovers quickly and resumes nodding to the music.

BACK TO PRESENT***

J.D.: There are other ways you can get it.

Dr. Cox enters.

J.D.: Dr. Cox.

Dr. Cox: Hold that thought, Newbie. [pointing around the room] One, two, three, four. My new thing is to count just exactly how many people in any given room can kick your ass. And in here, the number is four.

Carla: Five if you count Mrs. Cross.

A spooky old bat glares through the window of the next room.

Carla: The other day, she went off her meds, sa-lammed him with a cafeteria tray!

J.D.: She came out of nowhere!

He shuts the blinds.

Mr. Milligan: Am I gonna get out of here in time for Christmas? Tyler's mom isn't around anymore, and I'd really hate to ship him off to his grandparents'.

J.D.: You'll beat Santa home. I promise.

Dr. Cox: [snaps fingers] Phyllis. Outside.

He and J.D. step outside the door.

Dr. Cox: What the hell was that in there?

J.D.: [startled] Agh!

Mrs. Cross glares at him through the outer window of her room.

J.D.: That's one more point for Mrs. Cross. But let's see how she enjoys her beloved hard candy without ... [whips out a set of dentures] her choppers!

Dr. Cox: Newbie! You never promise a patient that they're gonna be fine!

J.D.: Mr. Milligan? His blood pressure's a little low; he just has mono.

Dr. Cox: Oh, for God's sakes, Newbie, take a look around, would you please? What's the difference between your Mr. Milligan and every other patient in this I.C.U.? And if the answer to that question is that he's the only one young enough to have never made a phone call like this: [holds up imaginary old-fashioned phone] "Brring! Hello? Operator? Give me [old man hacking]," then you'd be right. But since I'm not in the mood to make some big, dramatic, sweeping statement, I'll just tell you this: God hates doctors, He truly does. You see all these old people in here? Well, any of 'em would give just about anything to be able to sashay off this planet, but most of 'em are gonna stay and they're gonna live forever and ever and ever. And your Mr. Milligan, well, it turns out he's just young enough to die. I mean, think about it: It's the holidays, there's a sweet little kid involved. Can't you just feel it?

J.D.'s Narration: I did feel it. And I knew what Carla was gonna say before she said it.

Carla comes out of the room.

Carla: Mr. Milligan is unconscious.

Dr. Cox: Newbie, let's go.

They rush back into the room.

SceneEdit

ADMISSIONS Elliot leans against the front desk filling out a chart. Her mind wanders briefly.

J.D.'s words echo: "Think of your best moment in medicine...."

      • FLASHBACK: HALL

Elliot (with old Season One hair) pushes her patient through.

Patient: You know, thanks for taking care of me, ma'am. If there is ever any way that I can hook you up, you just call me at work.

Elliot: Don't worry about it. So, what do you do?

Patient: Ahh, I raise and breed ponies.

Elliot: [gasps] Ponies!

Cut to... WHEELCHAIR RAMP Elliot rides a pony in to work.

Elliot: Come on, Thunder! [clicks teeth] Can't be late for rounds again, let's go. Giddyup!

BACK TO PRESENT***

Carla's arrival snaps Elliot out of her memory.

Carla: Hey, Elliot? Would you keep an eye on Tyler, here, while we take care of his dad?

Elliot: [to Tyler] Hi! [pulls Carla aside] Yeah, I'm not that great with kids. They've got such tiny hands. It's creepy.

Carla: I'm leaving now.

She does so.

Tyler: My dad's in the I.C.U. What does that mean?

Elliot: Well, uh, Tyler, that stands for "Intensive Care Unit." It's where we put our patients who need extra care, like somebody who might need help breathing because their lung collapsed, or maybe they had a brain aneurysm, which is basically when a vessel ruptures and then blood pours into the--

She notices his innocent little face and stops herself.

Elliot: You know what, forget it. You wanna see someone who's worse off than your dad? We call him The Head in the Bed!

Tyler: Okay.

Elliot's eyes widen as he holds out his tiny little hand to her. She steels herself and takes it.

SceneEdit

I.C.U. J.D. checks on Mr. Milligan, then approaches Dr. Cox with the chart.

J.D. Damn, his cultures are back, he's not septic.

Dr. Cox: Well, I'd start him on Dopamine.

J.D.: Already done.

Dr. Cox: Well, I'd scan his head.

J.D.: I already ordered it.

Dr. Cox: Well, I'd definitely give Mrs. Cross her teeth back.

J.D. jerks at a cord around his neck, the dentures dangling from it.

J.D.: That I will not do!

Dr. Cox leaves. Carla passes through.

Carla: Hey, J.D. Turns out Mr. Milligan doesn't have insurance. Dr. Kelso said once he's stable we have to bounce him to County. Sorry.

J.D. stops Turk who's also passing through.

J.D.: Turk! Hey! If you go talk to Kelso for me, I'll give you this special Christmas gum.

He holds the pack up like a carrot.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Okay, this is actually Mrs. Cross's medicated denture gum? So you have to sell it with your eyes. Sell it.... Sell it...!

Turk eyes the pack suspiciously until he catches J.D.'s convincing expression.

Turk: Okay.

He grabs the gum and takes off.

SceneEdit

DR. KELSO'S OFFICE Dr. Kelso sits alone at his desk.

J.D.'s words echo: "Think of your best moment in medicine...."

      • FLASHBACK: CARIBBEAN PHARMACEUTICAL CONVENTION

Plomox promotional banners adorn the area, where Dr. Kelso sits at the bar with a couple of young ladies.

Dr. Kelso: I said, "I can't do it on my own!" [laughs]

Waiter: Excuse me, sir! A-a man just fainted over there! Are you a doctor?

Dr. Kelso: Not this weekend, son. [to the bartender] Another Bahama mama, please -- easy on the Bahama, heavy on the mama! [to one of the women] How you doin'? [laughs]

BACK TO PRESENT***

Turk snaps the chuckling Dr. Kelso out of his memory.

Turk: Dr. Kelso, I know you told Carla to bounce Mr. Milligan to County, but it's Christmas! So...what do you say?

Dr. Kelso: I'd say get me a 3T form!

Turk: 3T f--? What's that?

Dr. Kelso: That's Tough Titties, Turkleton!

He smugly waggles his eyebrows at Turk, who leaves. Striding back down the hall, Turk consoles himself with a stick of Christmas gum. After only a couple of chews, he pushes the foul stuff out of his mouth and onto the floor.

Turk: [disgusted] Oh, God.

He goes on, and a metal scraper jabs at the wad of gum, raising it to Janitor's eye level. He grimaces.

SceneEdit

ADMISSIONS -- WAITING AREA Elliot and Tyler sit next to each other.

Elliot: So, uh...what do you want to be when you grow up?

Tyler: A baseball player.

Elliot: Yeah, well, I wanted to be a ballerina when I was little. But, according to my mom, six-year-olds with mild scoliosis and giant man-feet aren't dancer material. But the joke's on her, because I am currently waiting to hear if the Saint Martha's Community Theatre will let me work lights for their production of The Nutcracker. Heh. [sighs]

Tyler: [bored and desperate to get away] Can I have some chocolate milk?

Elliot pulls a dollar out of her pocket and hands it to him.

Elliot: Here's a buck. There's a vending machine right outside that door.

He goes out as Nurse Roberts approaches with a clipboard.

Nurse Roberts: Dr. Reid. Would you sign this for me, please?

Elliot: Sure! [signs] So...what are you doing this weekend, Laverne?

She hands the clipboard back.

Nurse Roberts: Minding my own business. How 'bout you?

Elliot: Hopefully lighting the crap out of Saint Martha's auditorium!

Nurse Roberts: Yippee.

SceneEdit

NURSES' STATION Carla's mind wanders.

J.D.'s words echo: "Think of your best moment in medicine..."

      • FLASHBACK: NURSES' STATION

Carla passes Dr. Mickhead, who's pouring himself a cup of coffee, accidentally spilling some on his coat.

Dr. Mickhead: Dammit!

Carla: Little club soda will take that right out.

Dr. Mickhead: Thanks, Carla!

Carla: [shocked by the recognition] You're welcome, doctor.

BACK TO PRESENT***

Dr. Cox's arrival snaps Carla out of her memory.

Dr. Cox: [whistles] Carla? What's goin' on up there?

Carla: I'm sorry, I was just thinking about the last time a doctor actually listened to me. Sometimes I feel like--

J.D. arrives.

Dr. Cox: Did you get the results of the scan?

J.D.: They came back negative. I feel like we're missing something in his patient history.

Carla: When he came in, Mr. Milligan said that he and his son had been wrestling and goofing around.

Dr. Cox: Oh my God, he just might have goof-arounditis.

J.D.: We should also check him for the silly-willies.

They roll their eyes at her and leave. Janitor, mopping nearby, whistles his disapproval.

Carla: It's okay, they're just stressed out.

Janitor: Any time a doctor disrespects me, I respond with a little note.

      • FLASHBACK: PARKING LOT

The Janitor is meticulously sticking a note to Turk's windshield. He finishes chewing the last piece of gum required to spell out GUM GOES IN THE TRASH!

Janitor: [rubbing sore jaw] Wah. Worth it!

BACK TO PRESENT***

SceneEdit

I.C.U. -- MR. MILLIGAN'S ROOM Dr. Cox checks Mr. Milligan's monitors as J.D. goes over the chart.

Dr. Cox: Are you swanning this guy?

J.D.: Look, I really don't need you checking up on me every five seconds, okay? I'm a doctor, and I have as much medical expertise as anyone in this place.

Dr. Cox goes back to the monitor.

J.D.: Now what exactly is swanning?

Dr. Cox: What?!

J.D.: I'm kidding. Enough of the backseat doctoring -- I got this.

J.D.'s Narration: Why does it seem like every time I take a stand, everything turns to crap?

Elliot comes to the door.

Elliot: I gave that kid some money and sent him outside the hospital, and now I can't find him.

J.D.: I'm sorry, what?

Turk comes up behind Elliot.

Turk: Kelso said, no insurance, you gotta stabilize the guy and then bounce him.

J.D.: You gotta be kidding me.

Dr. Cox: I'll tell you what, in about ten more minutes none of this is gonna matter, because this guy's circling the drain.

J.D.: Why are you sick?

ActEdit

MR. MILLIGAN'S ROOM J.D. and Dr. Cox exit to the NURSES' STATION

J.D.'s Thoughts: I can't figure this out. Maybe if we tried stress-dosed steroids? I think I'll tell Dr. Cox that.

J.D.: I can't figure this out. Maybe if we tried stress-dosed steroids?

Dr. Cox: Or maybe we could just fill a syringe with false promises and inject him with that. Hm! Says here you already got that one covered!

J.D.: You know, try and discourage me all you want, because kites fly highest against the wind.

Dr. Cox: What?

J.D.: I'm a kite! I'm a big, beautiful kite! Fly! You know what? I wonder if Mr. Milligan could receive any blunt trauma without realizing it?

Carla: Wrestling.

They look at her.

Carla: Remember? He said his kid dropped him with a power kick.

J.D.: Kids can kick pretty hard. Maybe he ruptured his spleen?

Dr. Cox: Get a stat abdominal CT.

J.D. rushes off.

Dr. Cox: Great catch there, Carla.

Carla: [smiling gratefully] Thank you.

SceneEdit

PARKING LOT Turk is busily scraping the gum off his car.

J.D.'s words echo: "Think of your best moment in medicine...."

      • FLASHBACK: O.R.

Turk stands over the patient on the table, with Dr. Wen standing on the other side of the observation window with a stopwatch.

Nurse: [dabbing Turk's forehead] You can do this, Dr. Turk.

Turk: Okay!

He quickly finishes up, and runs out to Dr. Wen, slapping his hand.

Turk: Time!

Dr. Wen: Well, it's official. Dr. Turk is now the fastest appendectomy in the hospital.

The other surgeon takes off his mask in disappointment.

Turk: In your face, Dr. Beardface!

Dr. Beardface: It's Beardfacé!

BACK TO PRESENT***

J.D.'s arrival snaps Turk out of his memory.

J.D.: What the hell are you doing?

Turk: I got gummed.

J.D.: Come on, it turns out Mr. Milligan has a ruptured spleen. We're prepping him for surgery in room C.

They walk in to the hospital.

Turk: That's the room where the family gets to observe.

J.D.: So?

Turk: So, dude, you don't understand. When I operate, I don't see a person, I see a machine with parts that need to be replaced and circuits that need to be rewired.

J.D.: So you think you're a robot mechanic?

Turk: As a surgeon, the more detached I am, the more focused I am. And it's pretty impossible to feel focused or detached when this guy's family's watching every move I make.

J.D.: Well, I wouldn't worry about that. Mr. Milligan only has a son and Elliot lost him.

Turk: Awesome! [laughs] For me.

J.D.: Ah.

Turk: For me.

SceneEdit

DR. KELSO'S OFFICE He's in a track suit, working out on his stair machine. Tyler wanders in to watch.

Tyler: Is that fun?

Dr. Kelso: No, son. It's work. But this body didn't happen by accident.

Tyler: Well, you know what I think is fun? Baseball.

Dr. Kelso: My son is a big baseball fan. Not so much playing it, but more the designing and sewing of uniforms.

Tyler: That's neat.

Dr. Kelso: No, it's not.

Tyler: Maybe we can play catch sometime.

Dr. Kelso: [smiling warmly] I hope so, young man.

Elliot rushes in.

Elliot: Oh! Thank God, Tyler, there you are! Sorry, Dr. Kelso, this is Mr. Milligan's son. Come on, Tyler. Thought you were gonna get some Yoo-Hoo and then come right back?

She leads Tyler out. Dr. Kelso picks up his phone and dials an inside number. A female voice answers.

Dr. Kelso: Mabel, this is Bob Kelso. Uh, what's say we juggle some things and see if we can't free-ride Mr. Milligan financially for a while, okay?

There's a sound of uncertainty on the other end.

Dr. Kelso: Yes, this is really Bob Kelso!

SceneEdit

HALL Elliot and Tyler walk through.

Elliot: Don't run off on me again, Tyler.

Tyler: Sorry. I got scared. And when I get scared I hide. I know it's stupid....

Elliot: It's not stupid! Wanna know where I used to hide when I used to get scared? This closet right here. [points at a supply closet] And the one on the second floor. Oh, and there's also this broken MRI machine down in the basement. It's like my own private cocoon....

Tyler: You really got scared?

Elliot: Yeah. Everybody does here at first. Check this out.

She opens the door to reveal a male intern in there sobbing.

Tyler: Cool.

Elliot: Hang in there, Steve.

Steve: [sobbing] In med school, they never teach you how to deal with death--

She slams the door on him.

Elliot: Steve'll be stronger if he gets through this on his own.

Tyler: So, how did you stop being scared?

Elliot: I just realized that people here need me to be brave. Just like your dad needs you to be brave for his operation.

Tyler: Can I hold his hand?

Elliot: They're not actually very big on that.

Tyler: Can I at least watch?

Elliot: Are you sure?

There's wailing and blubbering inside the closet.

Elliot: Get it together, Steve!

Steve: [from closet] I'm trying!

Elliot nods at Tyler to continue on.

Cut to... O.R. Turk readies himself to operate, glancing at the observation window -- blessedly desolate.

Turk: All right, let's do this!

There's a knock on the window. Turk looks over at Elliot's and Tyler's hopeful faces.

Turk: Come on!

SceneEdit

I.C.U. -- NURSES' STATION Dr. Cox writes in a chart.

J.D.'s words echo: "Think of your best moment in medicine...."

      • FLASHBACK: ADMISSIONS

Dr. Cox passes the time by tossing little wads of paper through a toy basketball hoop stuck over a waste basket. He's distracted by the sound of a patient in the waiting area choking.

Dr. Cox: Huh?

He rushes over, administering the Heimlich.

Dr. Cox: Come here. Here y'go.

The object flies out of the man's mouth, and sails right into the mouth of a nearby sleeping woman. She begins choking, and Cox Heimlichs her.

Dr. Cox: Here y'go!

The object flies out of her mouth and soars over to the wastebasket, circling the rim of the hoop and dropping in.

Dr. Cox: [raising arms] WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Let's see anybody else make that shot! Huh? Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy! Who's your daddy?

BACK TO PRESENT***

Carla's arrival snaps Cox out of his memory.

Dr. Cox: Uh, Carla. Carla, have you, uh, have you seen Newbie?

Carla: Oh, he got off your leash?

Dr. Cox: [laughing] Give me a break. The kid's like a...he's like a.... Have you ever seen a drunk baby?

She furrows her brow at him.

Dr. Cox: Eh, it's a long story involving my son, a rum cake, and a low counter. Suffice to say that it turns out at first it's--it's endearing to watch them bounce off of the walls. But, man, you take your eyes off 'em for one second and -- [whacks desk] BAM! -- they got a bucket on their head and they're plowing right through your brand new flat screen TV. God save me, it was barely out of the box. The point is that Newbie is my drunk baby.

Carla: He figured out that spleen thing, maybe you should get off his case.

Dr. Cox: I would love to get off of his case. In fact, nothing would make me happier than to watch him walk into a patient's room and not feel that I have to run in after him and check up on everything.

Carla: You wanna know what I think?

Dr. Cox: ...No.

Carla: I think you know how good a doctor J.D. is, and whether you admit it or not, you have a great personal stake in his future. So don't pretend for one second that all this attention you throw at him is just for him, because it's also for you. As your friend, I'm telling you that if you want him to keep growing you oughtta back off of him once in a while.

Dr. Cox: Carla--

Carla: And don't say anything, because you know I'm right and my jeans do look good.

She goes off. Cox spots a discarded Santa hat on the desk and, for no apparent reason, puts it on.

Dr. Cox: God, I hate Christmas. I really do.

SceneEdit

O.R. Turk addresses Elliot through the intercom.

Turk: Uh, hey, Elliot? Can I talk to you in private?

Elliot doesn't want to let Tyler out of her sight so...

Elliot: Parlez-vous Français?

Turk: You know, I did learn a little when my high school class went to France, but that was just stuff to pick up chicks.

Elliot: Turk, je crois que Tyler se sentirais mieux s'il pouvait observer l'opération, d'accord? Subtitle: I really think it would make Tyler feel better if he could watch, OK?

Turk: J'ai ... euh ... Tour d'Eiffel pantalon. Subtitle: I have ... an ... Eiffel Tower ... in my pants.

Elliot: What?

Turk: Pamplemousse! Subtitle: Grapefruit!

Tyler: Can I please stay?

Turk: [capitulating] Yeah, kid, you could stay.

Tyler: Dr. Turk? Thanks.

Turk gives a thumb's up and turns to the table.

Meanwhile... I.C.U. J.D. wanders through, past an idle Cox, Carla, and Kelso.

J.D.'s Narration: None of us wanted to say what we were thinking: How vulnerable we felt. So we all just stood around, pretending to work, and waited for someone to come through that door and tell us how this was gonna end.

The Butties' "Joy to the World" explodes on the soundtrack as Turk bursts through the door, leading the recovering Mr. Milligan through, Elliot and Tyler walking alongside.

Turk: Who's the man!

J.D.: All right, you guys, we still got a lot of work to do. Turk, why don't you go check the post-op films in radiology; and Carla will transfuse back to a hemoglobin ten; and Elliot, why don't you take Tyler and go get us all ice cream immediately.

They all split up to take care of their duties, Elliot confidently grasping Tyler's hand and leading him out past Dr. Kelso, who holds up his hand in a little wave, and gets a high-five from Tyler instead.

J.D.: [to Dr. Cox] I'm gonna go check on him. You wanna come?

Dr. Cox: No. No, you got it.

Dr. Cox watches J.D. go off.

J.D.'s Narration: It's amazing how one patient can affect so many people.

Time shift to... A FEW DAYS LATER

LECTURE ROOM J.D. faces a new group of pre-med students.

Med Student: Dr. Dorian? What was your best moment in medicine?

J.D.: My best moment...? Well, there was this guy...

PARKING LOT Elliot talks with The Janitor.

Elliot: ...he had the most amazing little kid...

NURSES' STATION Carla talks to Nurse Roberts.

Carla: ...and the doctors actually listened to me...

O.R. SCRUB ROOM Turk is talking to Todd.

Turk: ...I knocked the surgery right out the park...

DR. KELSO'S OFFICE Dr. Kelso talks on the phone while he exercises on his stair machine.

Dr. Kelso: ...and I decided to pull some strings for the guy...

BAR Dr. Cox talks to the bartender.

Dr. Cox: ...and honest to God, I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself, but Newbie handled the whole thing -- wire to wire...

ADMISSIONS Mr. Milligan and Tyler walk out.

J.D.: ...and I kept my promise. Because the two of them got home in time for Christmas. And that was my best moment in medicine.

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