Scrubs Wiki

My Advice to You transcript

1,472pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Add New Page Talk0
3x6 Marco at funeral

The following is a transcript of the Scrubs episode "My Advice to You".


TURK AND J.D.'S APARTMENT Turk and J.D. are on the sofa playing a video game, as Carla busies herself in the kitchen.

J.D.'s Narration: It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town.... Mostly because she cleans our apartment.

Carla holds up an old pancake.

Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?

Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the _pancake drawer_? Wuhuh!!

J.D. pours some nuts from the bowl on the coffee table into his mouth.

Carla: Hey, those nuts are for my brother, please don't eat 'em all!

J.D. opens his mouth and allows the nuts to fall back into the bowl.

Turk: Baby, why you makin' such a big deal about your brother coming, anyway?

Carla: He's my baby brother! I practically raised him! Now, I want you to try and get along with him this time? If you do, I promise to fulfill that fantasy of yours -- but not with the weird outfit, and none of those crazy toys.

Turk: So we'd just have normal sex....

Carla: If I'm not sleepy!

Turk: Deal.

Carla goes to put something away in the bedroom.

J.D.: What's up with you and her brother, anyway? Did something happen at her mother's funeral?


Turk and Carla get out of the car. A young man in a vest comes over. Turk throws him the keys.

Turk: Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Just so you know, this is a rental and I got the mileage right up here [taps head], so no joy-rides, comprende?

Carla: Turk! This is my brother, Marco!

Turk: Sorry for your loss....


Turk: I mean, who wears a vest to a funeral, anyway, man?

The doorbell rings. Carla rushes to answer it.

J.D.'s Narration: The amazing thing wasn't that Carla's brother hated Turk...

Carla: ¡¡¡Marco!!!

Marco: ¡¡¡Carla!!!

Carla: ¡Un abrazo a tu hermana! 

They give each other a big hug and babble excitedly in Spanish, but are drowned out by...

J.D.'s Narration: was that he was able to keep it up without even speaking the same language.

Carla: {spanish} Ven, quiero presentarte.

Marco: Okay.

Carla: Este es J.D.

Marco: Oh, hey. Hey.

Carla: Y tú conoces a Turk.

Marco: [sighs] ¿Qué pasa?  Subtitle: What's happening?

He tosses his keys at Turk.

Marco: Zangano. Subtitle: Jackass.

Turk: Dude, you were wearin' a vest! Vesto!

J.D.'s Narration: Still, I had my own problems.

Cut to... HOSPITAL -- ON-CALL ROOM -- NIGHT J.D.'s lying on the bottom bunk, lost in thought.

J.D.'s Narration: Even though she had a boyfriend, I was still crazy about Elliot. And, God bless her, she wasn't making it any easier.

Elliot crawls in next to him.

Elliot: Hey.

J.D.: What are you doing?

Elliot: All the beds are taken. Scoot.

J.D.: Bunk with The Todd!

Elliot: J.D., you know that he is a sleep humper.

Todd sticks his face over the side of the top bunk.

Todd: Sometimes when I'm banging this mattress, I'm thinking about banging that one!

Elliot's cell phone rings.

Elliot: [into phone] Hello? ... Sean!? Where are you? ... The west coast of New Zealand? I'm in the on-call room! ... Hey, J.D.'s here!

She holds her phone out to J.D.

Elliot: J.D., say hi!

He reluctantly takes it.

J.D.: [into phone] Oh, hey Sean.

He snaps her phone off and hands it back.

Elliot: Uh!?

J.D.: Oh! You wanted to keep talking?

J.D.'s Thoughts: How are you supposed to get over someone when you have to be around them all the time?

FLASHBACK MONTAGE: REM's "Bad Day" plays over scenes of J.D. trying to suppress his feelings for Elliot despite her oblivion. She puts her breasts in his face as she reaches around him for something in the supply closet; she rests her head on his shoulder as they perform a lengthy medical procedure together; she rubs some food off his cheek with a saliva-moistened finger and J.D. wipes his finger across the spot and rubs it on his lips; and, after sitting on the steps outside together, she brushes the dirt off J.D.'s butt, to his secret satisfaction.

J.D. cuddles Elliot as she sleeps.

J.D.'s Thoughts: This night could not get any worse.

The top bunk mattress starts bouncing.

J.D.: [loud whisper] Todd! You're having a dream! Wake up!

Todd sticks his head over the side of the bunk.

Todd: Dude, I _am_ awake.

With that, he goes back to bouncing the mattress. J.D., horrified, holds tighter to Elliot.

Act IEdit


HOSPITAL HALL -- DAY Dr. Cox and Jordan are walking through.

Jordan: I'm having second thoughts about our giant nanny. She's lovely and all, but every time the fridge is empty, she looks at our son like he's a plate of ribs.

Dr. Cox: Well, you shoulda let me hire the really skinny model. At least if she ate Jack, she'd throw him up right after.

Jordan: [sighs] I got board meetings all day, but I'll see you for dinner tonight.

She gives him a string of kisses.

Jordan: Bye, wife(?)

She walks on down the hall.

Dr. Cox: Rreowr.

Continue to... ADMISSIONS Dr. Cox walks in on all the young doctors lounging around the waiting room watching the TV. Elliot prods the dozing Doug Murphy.

Elliot: Doug! Doug!

Doug: [waking] I don't wanna be a doctor!

Dr. Cox flips off the TV.

Doctors: Awww.

Dr. Cox: Fine. I'm gonna go ahead and tell you how it ends: Dr. Phil says, [Dr. Phil impression] "And that working out...for you?" And the big fat lady cries, "Wah." All right, I'm sure you're wondering why I accepted the position of residency director considering my disdain for, well...all of you. Is it the extra four dollars a week in my paycheck? Or is it the fact that I finally have a chance to make a difference in this God-forsaken hell-hole.

Elliot: [impressed] Hm!

Dr. Cox: It's all about the four dollars, trust me. And seeing as my money is contingent on you lemmings actually doing your jobs, I would say that now is a pretty good time for you to scurry on back to work so that I can continue to afford the antidepressants that keep me so damn jolly. [laughs weakly] GO!!!

They all leap out of their chairs and scatter.

Dr. Cox: Say, Angela....

J.D. and a blonde colleague stop and turn.

J.D.: Oh, I think he means _me_, Angela.

Angela continues on.

J.D.'s Thoughts: I wonder what I did now.

Dr. Cox: Lookit, this new gig is a great opportunity for me, and I--I want it to go well. And, for some reason, all these other bobble-heads seem to look up to you, so it would make my life one hell of a lot easier if you got in line behind me.

J.D.: No problem.

J.D. goes on back to work.

Cut to... ELEVATOR J.D. is riding with a young blonde woman soon to be known as Danni. Danni looks exceptionally like Tara Reid.

J.D.'s Thoughts: I guess people can surprise you.

Danni: We'd still die.

J.D.: We'd still what?

Danni: If the elevator cable snapped, even if we timed it out perfectly and jumped up right before impact, we'd still be crushed to death. I wish I'd taken the stairs.

J.D.: Me too.

Danni: Sorry, sometimes I just have this inner monologue running through my head.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Inner monologue? Weirdo!

The elevator stops and the doors open.

J.D.: That's my floor.

He steps out.

Danni: Lucky bastard.


NURSES' STATION Carla and her brother Marco are at one end, while Turk checks a chart on the other.

Marco: Mira, el cabezón brillante se hace como "no está mirando". Dirme algo, yo me río, para que se crea que nos burlamos de él. {spanish} Subtitle: Look, Mr. Shiny Head over there is pretending not to watch us. You say something and I'll laugh so he thinks we're mocking him.

Carla: Marco, yo ne le voy hacer eso. {spanish}   Subtitle: Marco, I'm not going to do that.

Marco cracks up laughing, bent over, clapping and wheezing in an over-the-top way which is really terrifying. Turk, self-conscious, slinks away.

Carla: ¡Ya! {spanish} Subtitle: That's enough.

Marco straightens with a gasp.


I.C.U. Dr. Kelso has the young doctors gathered for rounds. Elliot rushes up to J.D.

Elliot: [quiet] What'd I miss?

Dr. Kelso: It's come to my attention...

J.D.: [whispering] Something's come to his attention.

Dr. Kelso: ...that some family members of our critically ill patients have been complaining because of the relatively small amount of time you all spend with their loved ones. 'Course, in Dr. Murphy's case that's probably a good thing.

Doug: Sir, if I could just take this chance to explain my disturbingly high mortality rate?

Dr. Kelso: Why don't I do that for you? You're a bad doctor. Now, complaints are just a stone's throw away from lawsuits, so from this point on, I don't care how bleak a patient's prognosis is -- you are going to give each and every one of them the same amount of your time.

J.D.'s Narration: Unfortunately, our new residency director felt a little differently.

Cut to... I.C.U. -- A BIT LATER Dr. Cox is leading the group of doctors through, pointing at various patients.

Dr. Cox: Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. And, oh my goodness, if we don't have somebody here that we might be able to help. Miss Bartow is thirty-six, she is septic, and she is in respiratory failure. Dr. Weiss, I want you to draw three sets of surveillance cultures. Mr. Murphy--

Doug: _Dr._ Murphy?

Dr. Cox: [rocks hand and makes vague noises of uncertainty] ...Just go ahead and get a steady BG. We are going to try to wean her off of the vent today, so I want all of you people to give her most of your attention.

J.D.: I say we listen to Dr. Cox, and do exactly what he says.

Dr. Cox: That's unbelievable.

Elliot: But, Dr. Cox, earlier today Dr. Kelso was telling us that he wants--

Dr. Cox: Ugssshhhhh. I don't ever want to hear anything that's come out of that man's mouth; unless, of course, it's "Oh, my God! I'm dying. Now I'm moving towards the light. But wait a minute, there's been a mistake! This is Hell! Hello, Hitler. Hello, Mussolini. Captain Kangaroo? _That's_ weird!" Don't you see, Barbie, I would rather listen to you go on and on about the joys of dolphin sex.

Elliot: Dolphin _trainer_ sex. My boyfriend is a dolphin trainer.

Dr. Cox: Here that's a shame, because the whole dolphin thing used to make you so interesting. Too bad. We are moving on!

J.D.: You heard him, people! We're moving on!

Dr. Cox: Oh, God help me.

J.D.: ...God help him!


CAFETERIA J.D. and Elliot are having lunch together. J.D. stares at Elliot as she stares off into space, her chin in her hand.

J.D.'s Thoughts: My _God_, is there a sexier woman in the world?

Suddenly, she snaps out of it and jumps up.

Elliot: Mm. I gotta go -- my chin hair is back.

J.D.'s Thoughts: [watching after her] Ohhhh, I wish she'd cut it off and give it to me.

He turns back to his meal to suddenly see the young blonde from the elevator sitting across from him.

J.D.: Oh, GOD!

Danni: I don't mind it at the movies, sitting alone. But eating alone is sad and pathetic.

J.D.: Are you stalking me?

Danni: Nooo. My sister just had a baby, so I'm doing the whole aunt thing. Plus, it's a really great excuse to run away from a relationship. My boyfriend just dumped me, so of course now I love him more than ever.

J.D.: So, is there any chance of you guys getting back together?

Danni: Well, he's engaged, and he's getting married in two weeks...but, yeah, I think so.

J.D. grins.

Danni: Unrequited love sucks, you know.

J.D.: Yeah, it does. You know what we need to do? Uhh...?

Danni: Danni.

J.D.: J.D.

Danni: Hi!

J.D.: Hi. Danni, we need to move on, okay? No more thinking about our exes; no more waiting for the phone to ring; no more stealing her purse just so you can return it later in the hopes that she'll be so grateful, she'll use the money recovered to buy you a drink and _maybe_ have sex with you after.

Danni: Did that work?

J.D.: I stole the wrong purse. ...And, yes!


DOCTORS' LOUNGE Carla is watching over Marco's shoulder as he plays PacMan.

Marco: Ahh, Senor Blinky. {spanish}   Subtitle: Ahh, Mr. Blinky.

Carla: [laughs] ¿Te acueldas? Subtitle: Do you remember that?

Marco: Sí.

Turk enters.

Carla: Oh, hey Turk, why don't you play the next game with Marco?

Turk: Baby, I--I hate PacMan.

Carla: Really? Because you have bed-sheets that indicate otherwise.

Turk: Fine, ask him.

Carla: Marco, ¿por qué no juegas el próximo juego con Turk? {spanish}   Subtitle: Marco, can Turk play the next game with you?

Marco: No quiero ser "panita" con tu novio estúpido, ¡cabeza de melón!  {spanish}   Subtitle: I don't want to be friends with your stupid, melon-headed boyfriend.

Turk: Baby, I don't understand why he just doesn't learn English.

Marco: Ahh, que se queja que no hablo inglés. Él que no se molesta aprender español..¡para la mujer que dice que ama! {spanish}   Subtitle: I bet he's whining about how I don't speak English even though he's never bothered to learn Spanish. ...For the woman he supposedly loves.

Carla: Él está aprendiendo, ¿ok? Dice que "sí", dice que "no", dice "queso". {spanish}   Subtitle: He's trying to learn. He's already got 'yes', 'no', and 'cheese'.

Turk: Hey! Somebody say something about cheese? 'Cause if you gonna make a cheese run, holla at me, dawg!

Carla: Baby, when we left the Dominican Republic, Marco never wanted to learn English. He even went to boarding school in Puerto Rico. Imagine what it's like to constantly feel like an outsider just because you're proud of your heritage.

Turk: But did you or did you not say something about cheese?

Distracted, Marco loses his game.

Marco: [at the machine] ¡¡¡Ahh, coño!!! {spanish}  {English} God, darn you!


I.C.U. -- NURSES' STATION The young docs are gathered for their instructions from Dr. Cox.

Dr. Cox: Miss Bartow's systemic vascular resistance is falling, so the next couple hours are gonna be crucial, okay?

Dr. Kelso walks in.

Dr. Kelso: Perry, the fact that these residents are spending most of their time buzzing around that one patient makes me think that you told them to disobey a direct order from me.

Dr. Cox: Bob Kelso, that's just not true. Here, I told them to disregard _all_ direct orders from you.

Snickering, he goes off to treat his patient. Dr. Kelso turns to the young doctors.

Dr. Kelso: I know you all think of me as some heartless monster; still, if your grandmother were here, wouldn't you want her doctor to spend as much time with her as he does with anyone else?

J.D.: Grandma Dorian or Nana Hobbs? Because Nana Hobbs can be an eensy bit racist.

Dr. Kelso: Grandma Dorian.

J.D.: She's dead.

Dr. Kelso: The point is, sometimes what's best for this hospital _is_ what's best for the patients! I know it, you know it, and guess what, Dr. Cox knows it, too. Although damned if he doesn't disagree with me just because I said it.

J.D.: Sir, I don't think that's true.

Dr. Kelso hollers to Cox across the ward.

Dr. Kelso: Perry! It's hotter than hell in here!

Dr. Cox: Freezing!

Dr. Kelso: Great coffee, though!

Dr. Cox: [raising his paper cup] Rat piss!

Dr. Kelso: Dr. Murphy is an incompetent suck-up.

Dr. Cox: No, Bob. In fact, he's one of the finest young doctors I've ever had the good fortune of working with.

Dr. Kelso: [to J.D.] Your witness.

With that, he leaves. J.D. looks over at Doug, all smiles, who's dialing the phone on the desk.

J.D.: What are you doing?

Doug: [excited] I'm calling my dad!!!


HALL J.D. walks through, passing Danni as she hangs up the payphone. She walks along with him, slugging him in the arm as a greeting.

Danni: Hey!

He bashes against a wall, but bounces back to keep in step with her.

J.D.: Oh! Hey, how are you?

Danni: Good. So, I did it -- I talked to my ex.

J.D.: And...?

Danni: And I said, "Congratulations on the wedding, and I hope you two stay happy, and, by the way, size does matter."

J.D.: See! That's what happens when you finally have the courage to cut the cord! Before you know it, you'll be ready for someone new to come along.

Danni: Hey, you wanna go grab a cup of coffee?

J.D.: Ooh, I can't. I got something really important to do.

Cut to... ?? J.D. gives Elliot a shoulder massage.

Elliot: Thanks, J.D. I am so tense. Someone stole my purse!

J.D.: It'll turn up....

J.D.'s Narration: Once the dynamic of a relationship is established, it rarely changes.

Cut to... NURSES' STATION Turk stands next to Marco, gnawing on a huge block of cheese.

Turk: [offering the block] ¿Queso? Subtitle: Cheese?

Marco: Hombre, ¡tú me tienes harto! {spanish}   Subtitle: Man, I am so sick of you.

Turk: I'm sorry, but I...can'!

Marco: Yeah? Well, that talking slower and louder thing is not as helpful as you might think. [turning to anyone else in the area] Geez! Can you believe this guy?

Janitor: Ni empieces. {spanish} Subtitle: Don't get me started.

Turk can´t believe what he just had heard by Marco. 

J.D.'s Narration: Of course, if the dynamic does change, it's never as simple as you'd hope.

Cut to... I.C.U. Dr. Cox is at the bed of his patient as J.D. checks some x-rays nearby.

Dr. Cox: Hey, Newbie, listen, I got dinner plans with Jordan, and seeing as you're on-call, whatta you say you pull up a chair, here, in front of Miss Bartow?

J.D.'s Narration: ...Especially when it involves someone who's used to you following their lead.

J.D.: Look, Dr. Cox, I'll take care of her, and I'll have my interns help, but you gotta know I have other patients, too, so....

Dr. Cox: Maybe you didn't understand me, there, Violet. I don't want you leaving her side, even if someone thinks they saw Justin Timberlake downstairs. Now, dammit all, are you falling in line with me or not?

J.D.: I don't think so.

Dr. Cox: [angry] Okay, then.

Act IIEdit


HALL J.D. looks in at Dr. Cox holding vigil at his patient's bedside.

J.D.'s Narration: It was a strange feeling not doing what Dr. Cox wanted me to do. Still, I knew I was right.

Jordan approaches from down the hall.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Oh, God, if Jordan knew I was the reason Dr. Cox canceled dinner tonight, she'd give me the stink-eye and then twist my nurples off.

He briefly panics as she stops in front of him.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Calm down, tiger. She doesn't know.

She narrows her eyes.

J.D.'s Thoughts: She knows! She knows!

He holds his hands over his chest as she passes.

J.D.: Don't worry, guys. I'd never let her hurt you.

He blows one of his nipples a kiss.


NUESES' STATION Carla is with her brother.

Carla: Ya pesco mis cosas y nos vamos. {Spanish}   Subtitle: I'm going to grab my stuff and we'll go.

Turk rushes over.

Turk: Baby! There you are. He speaks English!

Carla: Who?

Turk: Your brother; he speaks English. Yo, tell her you speak English!

Marco: ¿Qué? Subtitle: What?

Turk: Don't "que" my-- "Que," my ass! "Que," my ass!

Turk lays eyes on the Janitor. He runs over and puts his arm around the guy in desperate friendship.

Turk: You were there, and you saw the whole thing. Now you tell her!

Janitor: I don't know what you're talking about.

Carla: Turk, I would know if my own brother speaks English!   Vamonos, Marco. {spanish}   Subtitle: Let's go, Marco.

She walks on ahead as Marco gives Turk a sly grin.


ADMISSIONS -- EVENING J.D. as doing some work at the front desk. Elliot arrives.

Elliot: J.D.! You know all those pictures of us from when we were going out? Do you still have those?

J.D.'s Thoughts: Filed alphabetically in my "Elliot Cabinet".

J.D.: I don't know.... I might.... Why?

Elliot: Well, you know the picture of us at the beach, where I actually look good and you think that you look like Bjork?

J.D.: Yeah.

Elliot: Well, I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I cut you out of it, and used it in a collage that I'm making for Sean?

J.D.: No problem!

Elliot: Thanks!

She gives him a smooch on the cheek and departs. J.D. watches after her, then turns back to see Danni suddenly in front of him.

J.D.: Whoa.

Danni: How's the whole moving on thing going?

J.D.: It's going great, Danni! In opposite world!

Danni: Well, I just wanted to say goodbye. I was gonna stick around for a few more days, but I don't really feel like that there's a reason to. ...Is there?

J.D.: Probably not.

Danni: I'm gonna miss you.

J.D.: I'm gonna miss you, too.

Danni: Dude, we just met -- I was kidding.

She laughs and starts out the door.

J.D.: [laughing to cover] Oh! That was good! No! No, I was doing the same thing!

Danni: [waving over her shoulder] Adios.

J.D.: Drive safe.


I.C.U. Doug and Dr. Cox are at his patient's bed. Elliot enters the ward.

Dr. Cox: Hey, Barbie. How's about you sashay on over here, push those rock & roll bangs out of your face, and keep those peepers on Miss Bartow's hemodynamics!

She comes over.

Elliot: Oh, first I've gotta discharge Mr. Hale, then get a _____ on Mrs. Peterson, and then, to be perfectly frank, perform a thong extrication on Ms. Reid.

Doug: Hey, _your_ last name is Reid!

Elliot: Doug. I have underwear in my butt. [to Cox] After that, though, I'll totally swing back by here.

She goes, and Doug follows along behind, emitting a little squeak as he examines the site of Ms. Reid's thong extrication. Dr. Kelso chuckles as he approaches Dr. Cox.

Dr. Kelso: You're losing them! Oh, don't get me wrong, you had me worried there was gonna be a bunch of young Dr. Coxes roaming the halls, calling me "Bobbo", shaving my genitals when I pass out at the Christmas party....

Dr. Cox: Tradition is tradition, Bob.

Dr. Kelso: Yeah.... Then I remembered that you've been here over ten years, and there's not a single disciple of yours to be found. And you know why?

Dr. Cox: You told 'em this exact same story and bored 'em to death?

Dr. Kelso laughs heartily, and Dr. Cox joins in. Suddenly the joviality halts.

Dr. Kelso: No. It's because eventually they all start questioning the gospel according to Cox, and you can't handle that. Can you?

He goes off snickering to himself.


TURK AND J.D.'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT Turk comes home. Marco is in the living room alone.

Marco: Hey, jackass.

Turk: Hello, Marc. I'm guessing Carla's not around.

Marco: She's in the bathroom, [Carla comes out] Cepillándose los dientes. {spanish}  Subtitle: Brushing her teeth.

Turk pulls Carla to him.

Turk: Hey, baby. Gimme some of that minty breath.

She pulls away.

Carla: Noooooo, not in front of my brother -- that stuff always makes him uncomfortable.

She turns to something on a nearby table.

Turk: Oh, really? I just wanted to apologize for the way I've been acting by loving you up and down, and all around!

He makes some suggestive moves. Irritated, Marco stands, but stops when Carla spins around.

Carla: Turk!

Turk: Baby, he can't understand you! Now let's go put some more of your footprints on the ceiling!

Unable to take it anymore, Marco rushes at Turk.

Marco: That's it, you son of a bitch!!!

Turk: I told ya!

With a grunt, Marco socks Turk in the face, knocking him to the floor.

Cut to... HOSPITAL -- NURSES' STATION J.D. treats Turk's black eye.

J.D.: So black people can get black eyes, too, huh? Who knew?

Turk: I haven't had one this bad since your Nana Hobbs threw that rock at me.

J.D.: She thought you were robbing the house.

Elliot and Doug come over.

Elliot: J.D.! Did you hear, Miss Bartow's completely stabilized!

They go over to Miss Bartow's bed, where Cox is tending to her.

Dr. Cox: I don't wanna see you around here anymore, okay?

He turns to the gathered doctors.

Dr. Cox: All right, come on you guys, you all got work to do! Newbie, maybe I wasn't clear enough with you on Miss Bartow over there.

J.D.: Here it comes. I'm incompetent. I'm a girl. I'm a little girl. I'm a little girl with pigtails that rides a tricycle.

Dr. Cox: No. Well...yes, but I am honestly trying to tell you that I don't think I was being clear with you before. In fact, I think I was being a pretty lousy teacher. Look, I think putting one in the "win" column every now and then is what gives us the juice to keep plugging along in games that we know deep down we're not gonna win. And that's why I locked in so intensely to that patient. Because opportunities, they...God, they come along so rarely in this place. And when they do, you just can't let them slip through your fingers. You cannot. You know?

Point made, lesson delivered, he walks off.

J.D.: [to self] I think I do.

Cut to... PARKING LOT J.D. scans the area.

J.D.'s Narration: I wasn't sure what I was hoping for. ...That somehow Danni had decided not to leave...that she'd snapped her leg in the parking lot....


Guy: Yo.

J.D.'s Narration: ...All I knew was I'd missed an opportunity.

Meanwhile... TURK AND J.D.'S APARTMENT Carla and Marco sit on the couch.

Carla: Entonces cuando yo estaba en high school, ¿tú me oíste hablarle a mis amigas de las pastillas anticonceptivas? {spanish} Subtitle: So when I was a senior in high school, you heard me talking to my friends in English about going on the pill?

Marco: No, no, aprendí el inglés hace poco. {spanish} Subtitle: No, I just learned English a few years ago.

Carla: Qué bueno, porque yo nunca tomé la pastilla. Ni la estoy tomando ahora, porque ni he hecho el sexo. ¡Sería divertiduela!  {spanish} Subtitle: Well, good, because I wasn't on the pill, and I'm not now. I've never had sex. I hope it's fun.

Carla: ¿Por qué no me lo dijiste? {spanish} Subtitle: Why didn't you tell me?

Marco: No sé. Mami murió, y ahora tú te casas. Siempre hemos tenido una conexión especial. Supongo que no la quise perder. {spanish} Subtitle: I don't know. Mom died, and now you're getting married. You and I have always had a special connection. I guess I just didn't want to lose that.

Turk pipes up from a chair across the room, a bag of frozen peas on his eye.

Turk: Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Carla: Sorry, sweetie.

She prods her brother.

Marco: [clears throat] Sorry...s-sweetie.

Carla: And Turk, you don't mind if every now and then Marco and I speak Spanish to each other, right?

Turk: Baby, fo'shizzle-dizzle. Do your thizzle, 'cause I'm up out this pizzle. Chach! See, we got our own secret language, too. Eh-ha!

He goes into the bedroom.

Marco: ¿Qué dijo él? {spanish} Subtitle: What did he say?

Carla: No tengo la menor idea. {spanish} Subtitle: I have no idea.

Carla & Marco: Zangano. {spanish}  Subtitle: Jackass!

Back to... PARKING LOT

J.D.'s Narration: No one knew her last name, no one even remembered seeing her. I started to wonder if Danni was even real. I guess that's the thing about life. You don't really--

Danni: Hey, J.D.

J.D.: Excuse me!

J.D.'s Narration: --You don't really get many second chances.

J.D.: Oh! Danni! Hi! I'm sorry, sometimes I have this inner monologue running through my head.

Danni: Oh.

Danni's Thoughts: Weirdo!

Danni: I'm having dinner with my sister tonight, but I swear I'm leaving after that.

J.D.: Don't. Stay here with me, we'll get that cup of coffee.

Danni: I'm not gonna stick around for one cup of coffee.

J.D.: Okay, two cups...and some pie.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Finally, I found a girl with no complications.

Jordan and Dr. Cox come over.

Jordan: Oh, I see you've met my sister!

J.D.'s Thoughts: Oh, come on.


Also on Fandom

Random Wiki