|Residents|| Unknown (current)|
Julie Quinn (2005)
|First seen||My Half-Acre|
J.D. owns a half-acre of land.
The only thing on the half-acre is a porch. During the latter part of 2005 and the early part of 2006, J.D. slept on the porch in a tent. He has entertained in the past, inviting over neighbors and friends. He has no electricity and must steal it from his neighbors. His neighbors on the right, Buzz and Donna, don't consider him to actually be their neighbor and don't like him, while his other neighbors tried to sell him (and Julie) a baby. J.D. also had to sneak into Buzz and Donna's house to use their toilet, as he didn't have one on his property.
His porch has become a hangout spot for older gay gentlemen. This started after the Janitor placed flyers all over Sacred Heart (and presumably elsewhere) advertising the Half-Acre as a hang out for older gay men. J.D. always ends up cleaning up after them and has on occasion had to chase them away with a broom. Once he found a still fresh Appletini and wondered when gay people started drinking "straight" drinks. He also has laid on the porch and gazed at stars along with many of the gay men on the lawn, as well as Kim Briggs.
- It's not clear if J.D. still owns the half-acre or if he has sold it.